Hello All, very new here but I don't really have anyone else to turn to for advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years with a couple of split ups along the way.
I know when I go through it in my own head I'm answering my own questions but then he makes me feel like I'm going mad when I voice them and even tells me so.
This might sound pathetic but I need more from him, more romance, more attention in bed, more interest in my life. I feel as though I pay a lot of interest in all of his hobbies, interests and day to day life and I feel I don't get it in return.
We live together and I do most of the cooking, before valentines he asked me what I wanted. I said nothing, but one thing I would really love is if you would cook something for me, he doesn't love being in the kitchen like me but he can cook when he trys. He just couldn't do it, on the day he said he felt ill he said he would do it the next day but didn't and promised to do it the next day and still didn't, I even said I would send him some recipes or something. Later in the week I got home from work a little late for lunch and he had arrived early and he had just cooked for himself. I break my balls near everyday to make sure there is a hot lunch on the table for him when he gets back from work. So after valentines this upset me even further.
I just feel like he doesn't care about my wants and needs and when I voice them he calls me complicated, dramatic, needy and tonight that I'm fucked in the head.
I'm about to embarke on a huge project investing in land and creating a retreat and he has refused to be involved, saying he doesn't have time.
Feels like everything I do wether it be family matters, movies, music, TV shows, books he just shows 0 interest.
Again when I do bring things up he stonewalls me for a couple of days first, I start by talking, getting upset that he doesn't understand and then angry. 😒😑😤😐
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Fed up of not being listened to
Tizanz · 22/02/2021 21:01
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
"I know when I go through it in my own head I'm answering my own questions but then he makes me feel like I'm going mad when I voice them and even tells me so. " (my bolding)
And that's as far as I needed to read to know that he is not worth your time. He tells you you're mad when you question the relationship? Bastard. Utter bastard.
And no, it does not sound pathetic to want some actual warmth from the person you call your boyfriend. It sounds normal. But he's drip, drip, dripped the 'pathetic' idea into you for seven years.
"He is a very very simple and lonely man, goes to work, comes home has lunch, goes to do his sports, comes home works on his video editing hobby and goes to bed. He doesn't want want want and is very content with his life and he has no clue or idea why I need or want more"
It is not that he has no clue, @Tizanz - it's that he has no interest in what you want, never mind why. He. Has. No. Interest.
I do not say this to hurt you, but to him you are nothing but a convenience. A domestic appliance to do the drudgework, leaving his time free for what he is interested in 
.
Please, value yourself more. You say "the thought of being alone fills me with dread". Being alone is considerably better than being with someone chipping away at your self-esteem. And who says splitting from him would mean you were alone anyway? You'll certainly never meet anyone else if you stay with him; ditch him and you might find someone who would actually care about you.
You do know what you need to do.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.