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Can you read this and give your opinion please?

(87 Posts)
thehubl Mon 22-Feb-21 17:12:04

If a partner ... female in this case says these things or exhibits these behaviours, what is going on . I'm confused .

*Only wants to spend time one on one with partner. Know cos off if partner wants to meet friends or family or attend family events .
* Tells her partner when they can see their children or have them over to HIS house during their time together.
* is jealous of other women when they look in the direction of partner in a normal way.
* won't leave partners house when asked eg after a disagreement .
* calls Partner nasty , insulting and personal insulting names .
* drags old arguments up
From the past that have no relevance to
Present disagreement .
* can be physically hurtful. Can change in an instant from kind and sweet to nasty and aggressive .
Screams when angry .
* doesn't apologise when clearly in the wrong.
*uses partners credit card and does not repay money.
All opinions would be very welcomed .
Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
thehubl Mon 22-Feb-21 17:17:10

The first point should say that she kicksoff
when friends or Family are around .

OP’s posts: |
category12 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:19:24

If there's violence, the relationship is FUBAR and it's already way past time to leave.

The rest of it sounds abusive and controlling.

thehubl Mon 22-Feb-21 17:23:05

Sorry I'm don't understand FUBAR

OP’s posts: |
category12 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:25:01

Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

thehubl Mon 22-Feb-21 17:25:45

Ok thanks for explaining .

OP’s posts: |
youvegottenminuteslynn Mon 22-Feb-21 17:29:08

Toxic, abusive, controlling and unhealthy regardless of them being a man or a woman.

Are you their partner? If so you need to end the relationship ASAP.

Spied Mon 22-Feb-21 17:33:29

Emotional, physical and financial abuse.

thehubl Mon 22-Feb-21 17:39:21

Yes I am

OP’s posts: |
NoSquirrels Mon 22-Feb-21 17:42:35

Sounds like a "partner" to run away from as quickly as possible.

They're jealous of your children and want to control that time. Do you need to know more? There are better relationships out there.

Inaseagull Mon 22-Feb-21 17:51:12

What are you finding confusing? You have listed a number of batshit behaviours clearly. Do you not think they are abusive? The quicker you end this the better.

ladygindiva Mon 22-Feb-21 17:51:49

Yeah not good. I think this person sounds unhealthy to be around and anyone that gets between a parent and their kids is a big no no. Sounds really stressful.

Wanderlusto Mon 22-Feb-21 17:52:00

Narcissistic personality disorder or a straight up sociopath. Or something along those lines.

Run for the hills. Women can be evil too.
And men can be abused.

ragged Mon 22-Feb-21 17:52:02


You deserve better, OP. They need things no sane person could give them.

NovemberR Mon 22-Feb-21 17:54:54

Not confusing, surely?

She's an utter nutter and you should run far away.

Wanderlusto Mon 22-Feb-21 17:55:18

Also, using your card without permission is theft.
Think about that. She is ok with stealing from you.

And physically hurting you.
And calling you names.

Get yourself out of there and if the kids arent hers, keep them away from her. Infact, even if they are hers I'd be gather evidence about her being an utter psycho so that I could go for full custody.

Palavah Mon 22-Feb-21 17:55:33

Irrelevant whether a woman or a man. Do you not see that this behaviour is crazy and you don't have to stay with your partner?

Aquamarine1029 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:57:12

This isn't a relationship, it's a prison sentence. Get as far away from this abuser as quickly as possible.

JustAnotherOldMan Mon 22-Feb-21 17:57:50

If you are describing your current partner, then drop her like a hot potato

Sounds like some really controlling behaviour ( and you know that as you had identified the behaviours )

endlesswicker Mon 22-Feb-21 17:59:34

using your card without permission is theft
I agree with another pp - this is theft. And since they are impersonating you by using the card, it is fraud as well.

This alone would be worth breaking up for - and it needs to be reported to both the bank and the police.

AnOnly Mon 22-Feb-21 18:38:17

Life's too short to be walking on egg shells the whole time. I can't imagine that your relationship is going to improve, sorry.

Jesskir89 Mon 22-Feb-21 18:52:17

Telling you when you can see your children???? What???? Get rid! That in itself is disgusting let alone everything else. You know what you need to do op and if you're asking if youre right then you 100 percent are

FossilisedFanny Mon 22-Feb-21 18:56:19

I’d say whoever, male or female , behaves like this , has serious issues which an ordinary person is not equipped to help with, nor should they put up with being treated so badly.

NotAgainNoMore Mon 22-Feb-21 19:27:30

A total control freak - get rid!
Does she live with you? Do you have kids together?

Mysillystory Mon 22-Feb-21 19:41:51

My opinion would be that you need to end it. You shouldn't need to live by the rules he makes up as he goes along, constantly changing them and leaving you constantly confused as to where you stand, what you can and can't do/say because of how he reacts.

This isn't a loving equal relationship.

I don't mean this disrespectfully but do you have low self esteem? Because it appears as if he's been chipping away at you bit by bit. Have you changed from the person you used to be because of his behaviour? Because of uncertainty around his reactions?

You can absolutely do it, you can leave him and find a new normal, a new happy. I know how difficult it is to leave and I understand that you'll be doubting yourself "is it really that bad" "is it actually my fault". Its not, its not your fault, you are worthy and deserve more.

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