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Anyone asked a man out and had success?

(67 Posts)
Heidi3333 Mon 22-Feb-21 15:33:50

Hi ladies

I have had lots of different guys recently ask me out. Annoyingly I don't fancy any of them and so have turned them down (nicely). I can't remember the last time someone I liked asked me out.

I am fed up just sitting around waiting on somebody I fancy to ask me out. I am not a fan of making the first move but feel I need to start taking control of my love life...

There is a gorgeous guy in my local garage that has serviced my car a few times. He is always v polite and professional but we have only ever chatted about cars. I'm v attracted to him. I found him on Facebook and there's no sign of any girlfriend from his profile. Only problem is he is 11 years younger than me - I'm 45.

I'm tempted to drop him a message on his work email that we have used in the past to tell him I think he is gorgeous and to give him my number. If he doesn't respond in my favour then I'll just avoid the garage forever more!

Has anyone ever made the first move on the guy and had success? I'd much rather the guy made a move on me but I'm fed up hanging around and waiting!

OP’s posts: |
Borntohula Mon 22-Feb-21 15:36:20

Well, I guess you have nothing to lose. Did you post about this recently?

justanotherneighinparadise Mon 22-Feb-21 15:38:34

Oh god. This isn’t the guy your massively crushing on is it? I though the advice was to leave well alone 🥴

Heidi3333 Mon 22-Feb-21 15:38:52

Hi no this is the first time I've used this forum for ages.

OP’s posts: |
BlueDaysTillChristmas Mon 22-Feb-21 15:39:51

I’ve asked out 5 men. Two from years ago, and three in the last few months via online dating. I would always say go for it. If you don’t ask you don’t get.

I personally am the kind of person to ruminate endlessly and to regret things so I like the ‘putting it to bed’ aspect. If I didn’t ask and they didn’t ask it would have the potential to turn into my one lost love, my soulmate, so I NEED to do something if they don’t.

The first two were successful, numbers 3 and 4 weren’t as they weren’t in a position to be online dating in the first place, and I’m waiting for lockdown to end to go for a walk with number five.

SabrinaTheMiddleAgedBitch Mon 22-Feb-21 15:39:52

I asked my first husband out and it worked but he was a absolute bastard so I suppose it depends how you define success grin

Serious though, he's either going to say yes or no. What have you got to lose in the scheme of things

Roselilly36 Mon 22-Feb-21 15:39:57

Someone I knew fancied the guy who was doing some building work for her parents, she asked him out, they are married now!

Good luck OP, I hope it works out for you.

Boonlark Mon 22-Feb-21 15:40:00

Yes. I've asked out most of the men I've been involved with. It's scary, but good to know where you stand. I've also been turned down, but it's been ok

JustAnotherOldMan Mon 22-Feb-21 15:57:39

My ‘proper’, girlfriend asked me out, ( I had previously asked her out a few times and been turned down),

If you’re going to do the asking be prepared to be turned down a few times, just because you like someone, doesn’t always mean they like you ..

HollowTalk Mon 22-Feb-21 16:00:26

I wouldn't. Do you really think he wouldn't have asked you out if he wanted to?

Wanderlusto Mon 22-Feb-21 16:15:08

Loads of times over the years. Getting them to go on a date is easy I find. But getting them to commit, not so much. I do feel I've had more success with men who have asked me out. But I cant be arsed dithering so if I'm interested and by say...the end of chat 2 on online dating, if he has not asked me then I'll absolutely ask him if I'm interested.

Spodge Mon 22-Feb-21 16:18:23

I'd rather not risk losing a reliable mechanic, but that's just me.

JustAnotherOldMan Mon 22-Feb-21 16:22:22

@HollowTalk
It’s not really the done thing to ask out customers or people who work on customer sites (I’ve worked on lots of customer sites)

JimmyJabs Mon 22-Feb-21 16:31:07

Do it, but don't use his work email. It's not appropriate and, for all you know, he might not be the only one who has access to it.

Cinderstella Mon 22-Feb-21 16:34:28

11 yrs doesn’t matter in the slightest unless he thinks it matters. I wouldn’t email him on his works email system though. Better to just go ask him out.

Cinderstella Mon 22-Feb-21 16:35:08

On the other hand you could send him a friend request on FB and see what happens?

Heidi3333 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:27:19

Wow thanks for the replies!

He owns the garage and it's a new business so he may be wary of hitting on customers! But maybe I'm just kidding myself...

I never thought about others reading his work email. I wouldn't want to message him on FB as we only have a few friends in common and I'd worry it'd look a bit stalkerish!
I'm more inclined to go with the work email.

OP’s posts: |
autumnalrain Mon 22-Feb-21 17:27:31

What are you hoping for? If it’s just casual fun then go for it you have nothing to lose.

However, if you want long term I think that the age gap might an issue. I know a lot of people on here will say that age is just a number... but I don’t agree. You are at two different stages in your life, he may want children. Just factor that into your decision

category12 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:29:55

Do you take him doughnuts?

workshy44 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:31:33

Agree with autumn, if it is just a fling/fun then go for it. If you are looking for something real I wouldn't bother, totally different life stages
Also when asking him out I wouldn't say you think he is gorgeous, too much. Just keep it casual..
Bets of luck and I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you :-)

Heidi3333 Mon 22-Feb-21 17:31:35

Haha no I don't take him doughnuts .
I'm so smitten by his beauty I can barely string a sentence together in front of him normally 🤣

OP’s posts: |
WoodchipWoodchip Mon 22-Feb-21 17:32:26

Yes. I knew him but we weren't super close friends.
Reader, I married him. He's made me about four cups of coffee so far today. By a country mile, one of my best decisions!

GentlemanJay Mon 22-Feb-21 17:35:33

I say go for it. It would be great to be asked out.

Heidi3333 Mon 22-Feb-21 18:21:26

Loving all the success stories 😁

OP’s posts: |
IReallyNeedMoreGin Mon 22-Feb-21 18:25:18

I asked out both my husbands and a couple of boyfriends before I first got married. Never had a 'no'!

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