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Start using Mumsnet PremiumAnyone know how I can tell if my partner is using cocaine?
(171 Posts)I've tried to Google this but it's not very clear.
How is a person physically after doing it? How can I tell? I suspect he is
Manic/high behaviour. Excess energy. Being over the top with actions and emotions. Not quite 'with it' in his surroundings. Talking too fast and too much, that kind of thing.
Not eating anything, sniffing or touching nose, chatting shit, drinking more for dry mouth. Good luck x
sniffing a lot
loud and boorish
The biggest giveaway will be no appetite.
What has he been acting like to make you suspect?
Look at their pupils. Maybe Google cocaine eyes if you have no experience of it. Also, sniffing/ wiping under nose a lot. Talking too much. Not eating much.
The chatty/manic type of behaviour may not be as prevalent if he's a regular user.
He's unlikely to be able to get it up if he's high and yes, likely diminished appetite
Sniffing a lot or blowing nose, chatty or more enthusiastic than normal, pupils will be bigger than they usually are, jaw clenching or swinging, not eating, possibly staying up later of a night. But then there are some people who don't really do any of the above?
You could just out rightly ask?
Sniffing / blocked nose. Wide eyed, talking fast, not eating, looking exhausted as theyve not been to sleep, or not slept for long. Also more irritable and snappy.
Large pupils,runny nose and not feeling tired,my ex would also make numerous trips to toilet( I thought he had a bladder problem,he was going to sniff) check the bank it's not cheap xx
Fidgeting with themselves, pulling socks up, messing with belt etc just hyper fidgety.
Searching for something, looking in cupboards a lot, usually when coke wears off and they think they have stashed some somewhere.
Obviously, sniffing, rubbing nose, unusally interested in minor shit to talk about.
Paranoid when it wears off, jumpy and on edge.
Racing pulse - even when not doing anything.
Sweating.
Vastly decreasing bank balance
Problems sleeping
Check his wallet for powder residue on cards/notes. Rolled up banknotes. If you think he’s doing it at home check the areas he goes often by himself, bathroom etc for powder residue on countertops. Lack of appetite is a big one.
It depends how far any addiction has progressed.
If it’s just out socially you would see the changes in behaviour as out lined by PP.
However with an entrenched long term daily habit you wouldn’t necessarily see any behaviour changes as they would just be “topping up” to stay “normal”.
What makes you suspicious? Do you live together - have you noticed changes in their behaviour or mood swings, money issues?
If he's on it around you, he'll have manic staring eyes and he may lick his lips more often. He may talk a lot or become hyper fixated on a repetitive activity. He'll need to go to the toilet for long periods of time because he may have diarrhoea.
Afterwards, he'll sleep a lot. He'll be very hungry and spaced out the day after. The day after that, he is likely to be easily irritated.
He'll become jittery around the days he usually takes it. Most cocaine addicts do not take cocaine every day. But most will start to get jittery around the two week mark maximum.
Long term he'll be more depressed, more snappy, and have less ability to empathise with you. He's also more likely to become ill with coughs and colds.
Look for small baggies, cash withdrawals, white powder, especially on the back, of his bank cards between the letters. He'll also be using a lot of tissues to wipe his nose with. You can also check to see if his notes are flat or look like they could have been rolled up at some point.
There's also a known chemical reaction between alcohol and cocaine. So usually, a cocaine addict will start thinking about taking it after a drink or two. If you notice him going off after a couple of drinks and then coming back acting strangely, it could be cocaine.
Also, you can drink a lot more than you would be able to normally on it, so heavy drinking binges can be another sign.
And one more thing, when you talk to him, he'll seem like he's only waiting for you to stop talking so he can carry on talking about himself. That's a really obvious one.
Spending lots if money, sniffing, wiping nose, hyper, sounding like they have a constant blocked nose, not focusing moving from 1 thing or subject to another. Low & moody a couple days after the high.
At the time of doing it - wired, very chatty (talking fast and a lot of nonsense, often!) full of energy, high desire for sex, little capability for sex (can't get hard.)
Afterwards/next day - regular users can be normal. (Look out for use of Valium which can be used to ease comedown). If they have withdrawal symptoms it will be edginess, inability to sleep, slight paranoia. Some people keep their last line for the next day to take the edge off. Look for a powdery square of paper or a tiny plastic bag in the bin. Nosebleeds sometimes, bloody tissues.
Ex was a long term habitual user. It was hard to tell to the untrained eye because that was his 'normal', though I almost always knew because I knew him so well.
Though all that previous posters have listed are 'signs', many can be blamed on something else by the user; 'cold coming on' for a runny nose, frequent trips to the toilet - 'beer goes right through me', tiredness and irritability - under the weather or work stress, talking a lot - just in a good mood, no money (especially just now) - lost job, unexpected expenses etc.
I will add to the list of 'signs' white dust residue on surfaces, rolled up bits of paper and small empty bags stuffed in pockets, down the sofa, chucked behind or on top of cupboards, or under rubbish in the bin. When high and especially when drinking, cocaine users are more careless about hiding the 'evidence'. Ex was frequently amazed I found things. Also finding excuses to go to the shop or wherever (meeting a dealer). Or 'going for a walk' at an odd time like at night for example (as above).
If you suspect then consider ending things. No good can come of continuing a serious relationship with a cocaine user
In addition to the other things listed above;
Comments about 'hayfever' or 'a bit of a cold' when nothing's in flower, not even trees and nobody else has a cold and his disappears by the next day, only to return a few days later. Sniff...sniff...sniff...oh, this hayfever...sniff...sniff.
Very keen to pop to the shop for you, so keen that he'll practically run out of the door, almost shoving you aside even if you've got your coat, shoes, handbag and the keys in your hand.
Your handbag isn't quite where you left it and your phone case/card holder/purse is never in the same pocket of your bag/coat.
Check your bank account. There could be two cash withdrawals immediately after one another or a cash withdrawal and then the intended supermarket purchase straight after.
Anything portable and sellable go missing? Like computer games, old phones, a piece of jewellery you don't often wear?
The biggest one is that they're an irritating cock, though. Well, more than usual, at any rate.
Check his bank notes or anything else he can be using to snort it.
I'd forgotten blocked out all the money related stuff NeverDropYourMoonCup
Thankyou for all the responses and sorry for my late one.
My reasons for suspecting him, is he comes home from work (definately after at the least drinking) but he paces the house, rants, had a bunged up nose, had to put vicks under his nostrils but thrown the cold is gone the next day? He once kissed me and he tasted bitter and my tongue went a little numb.
I’ve asked him he denies it. He’s making me feel like I’m crazy but I wouldn’t suspect it if there were no reason to
He also has a sore under his nose; he says it's from shaving but I don't think it is
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