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Start using Mumsnet PremiumWhat do I do about my bf
(28 Posts)Hi everyone. I’m new to this so bare with. I could do with some help tho i am in a newish relationship of 4 months and don’t see my partner that often due to work/life etc however the last few weeks it’s become an issue for me and it always seems to be him who can’t make it wether it’s last min or not. He said he would sort it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt but that was a couple weeks ago. We made plans for valentines yesterday nothing much just dinner and to see each other however he decided to go to his friends before hand which is fine I have no issue with him seeing friends however he then text me to say he had had too much to drink and couldn’t drive and would catch up with me in the week. Obviously I was not impressed at all. But what I’m wondering is do I give him another chance or do I just cut all ties? Xx
Bin him. You're way down his list of priorities.
I agree with pp you should be a higher priority. At that stage you should be at the stage where you can’t get enough of each other. I’d understand him cancelling for a legitimate reason like sick child, injury but because he saw friends first is just crap. I would send a text and end it.
What @devildeepbluesea said. You’re not a priority. A man who’s truly interested would be trying to see you as often as possible and certainly would not put drinks with friends ahead of seeing you. Finish this and free yourself up for a man who makes time for you.
Yeah, at four months you're already right at the bottom of his priorties.
When my mother, my sister and I all found ourselves single and dating in the late 1990s we quickly learnt not to make excuses for inattentive men. It always means either (i) they are just not that into you; or (ii) they're not available to date you. Usually the former. Never make excuses for inattentive men and never accept excuses either.
He’s not that into you. Throw him back.
Hold onto your dignity and move on. I wouldn't even tell him, only if he texts you.
Bin him, you gave him another chance and he's taken about 2 seconds to not bother again.
Dery
When my mother, my sister and I all found ourselves single and dating in the late 1990s we quickly learnt not to make excuses for inattentive men. It always means either (i) they are just not that into you; or (ii) they're not available to date you. Usually the former. Never make excuses for inattentive men and never accept excuses either.
THIS!
I have encountered all sorts of crap all over the years. I feel for you... The key is, if something makes you feel annoyed, don't ignore that.
Now with my DP. Calls me all the time, wants to spend his free time with me, weekends with me, holidays with me - I never have to ask. He has two DC too so could easily make excuses not to if he were that type of man.
A good partner just does these things voluntarily. I never had to ask.
Good luck OP and remember it's not you, it's him!
You're calling him your partner and he can't even be bothered to keep plans with you on valentine's Day!
Time to throw this one back I think
No lockdown where you live then?
What is with all the troll posts?
scryingeyes
No lockdown where you live then?
This may come as a surprise, but not everyone lives in the UK
He ditched you on a pre-arranged Valentines date... not a good sign. You need to throw this fish back...
Sorry but you are not at the top of his priority list - bin him and find someone who deserves you!
He’s not that into you.
4 months in and he should be desperate to spend valentine's with you
he passed up V-day with you to spend it with his friends and using an excuse of drinking too much = he's not that into you. sorry.
Dery
When my mother, my sister and I all found ourselves single and dating in the late 1990s we quickly learnt not to make excuses for inattentive men. It always means either (i) they are just not that into you; or (ii) they're not available to date you. Usually the former. Never make excuses for inattentive men and never accept excuses either.
That's a movie plot right there @dery!
That's really rubbish he can't stick to your plans and being Valentine's evening.
At 4 months I think I'd dump him
Yep, I would call it a day. I think it shows he has really bad manners and better to realise that now than further down the line!
“Partner”? Seriously? You have no ties to this man. You’ve been together for approximately 18 weeks.
Do you think that when he was drinking with his friends yesterday, he was telling them all about his girlfriend, let alone his partner?
Get rid.
@Summerhillsquare - a farce 😀!
How do you feel OP? x
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