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Ex-boyfriend and I were together for almost a year. He broke up with me the end of November 2020 and expressed that he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but it was the best decision he could do at the time. After the breakup, he still has expressed doubts. I stupidly kept in contact and we're still in contact to this day, although it is predominately been initiated by me. We have had the odd 1-hour phone call wich we never really did previously. However, I really want to change that. So I've deleted our texts and his number so technically, if he wants to chase after me, he has to plus it alleviates any temptation which I had been doing.
So I made a previous post. He got in contact with me again and said he would like to see me but still thinks it was the right decision to break up, it's almost like he's telling me this in case I think he wants to be back together. I asked him whether he's doing it to appease me and he said no. I asked him if he just wants to be friends and he said no. I said is it a friendly meet up and he said yes. I've told him that I cannot be just friends with him however and he understood.
I really wish I would have gone straight into no contact but anyway.
So, I've decided to pull back and if he wants to chase up seeing me. I didn't respond to his last message and then he sent me a text the other morning saying "Morning when this week suits you well?"
Looks like we'll have dinner together.
I just find it odd that he's chasing up to see me but doesn't want to be just friends, said in one of his other texts that it's not to get back together (so he claims) and isn't doing it to appease me. I don't think he wants sex either as when I saw him in December 2020, he was very anti any sort of affection/intimacy from me. In fact, he was rejecting me.
I still like/love this man. Do I see him? Why does he want to catch up?
What is there to like about this man at all, let alone love?. He has you on a string. All he has done is mess you about and your boundaries, already weak here to start with re him (and yes you should have had no further contact with him at all) are being further mashed.
Cancel the dinner and block him from being able to contact you. No good to you will come of meeting him because he just wants to put the boot into you some more. Are you really that desperate for male company that you would put up with this from a man?.
Hmm he doesn't want to be friends or get back together, I'm guessing he does want to be more than friends and wants to talk about it first? Before committing getting back together. Meet him but stand your ground on your expectations and what you want to happen if you don't want the same thing then tell him to be on his way.
@seensome it is very strange. In one of our hour phone call, he said he still really likes me and is very fond of me. Just about every phone call we have, he says that maybe he is one big idiot after all/expresses doubt.
He is keeping you interested on him so it is easy for him to pop in and out of your life when it suits him. He is preparing the way to make you out up with crumbs. Fwb for him, while you wait for him to realise he does in fact want to be committed to you after all.
*@seensome* it is very strange. In one of our hour phone call, he said he still really likes me and is very fond of me. Just about every phone call we have, he says that maybe he is one big idiot after all/expresses doubt.
Unfortunately, you have become his BBW (Back Burner Woman). He wants to keep you on his back burner, gently simmering away, until he fancies a shag. Or until he gers dumped by the woman who is currently his main interest.
Strange way of putting it, like you don’t have a say - you’re allowed to say no, you know!
He’s stringing you along. He gets an ego boost from knowing how much you’re into him, but he doesn’t like you enough to go out with you, or he would be going out with you.
when this week suits you well?"