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Start using Mumsnet PremiumAdvice what to do next..
(7 Posts)I've NC for this. I know a lot will say he's showing me who he is, that it's not worth worrying over etc, but please bear in mind 4yrs is a long time with someone and its not that easy.
So brief outline. Together 4yrs.. It became obvious we couldn't progress forward so i ended it. I heard nothing from him, 30 days passed then I had a birthday present and card. I said thank you for the present but didn't respond to certain parts of the card..he did reply and it was left on a civil hope you had a good day type message.
The long and short of it is were back to silence and it's clearly over.
BUT I have his stuff. Its not stuff I can post. I don't know what to do. It feels like a longer period of time has passed (5 weeks now) but nothing from him. I don't know why he's not asking for it?
It hurts a lot. We didn't fall out, he's obviously not happy but it's hard to just have this dangling non ending. I kmow it can't be changed so bluntly need him to get his stuff.
How do I word it?
My friends have said just leave it boxed but I feel like then I'll always be waiting for that upsetting moment he asks for it.. Help
Simple text...Hi XXX really sorry to bother you but just wondered if you could call me and we can arrange collection of your things.I didnt want to box them up and store them incase they became damp in the garage,Thank you xxxx
Thats showing you are being polite and civil and thats all you need to do.If he does reply pick a day grit your teeth and be calm,If he doesnt then leave it a week or two then send again
Hi xxx guesing you must have been really busy sorry to bother you again but i really need your stuff removing by xxx date as I am having some work done on the property and i need to clear out.Please contact to arrange a day ,Many thanks xxx
Last terxt if he ignores
Hi xxx your stuff is all packed up now due to no response from you,I will have it sent to his address or friend anything on xxx date. thank you xxx
the kisses are not for the text just in place of names!!!
posted too soon you hire a van put his stuff in it and bill him! send it to him or family to store for him ...
@lazylump72 thanks. I won't do today for obvious reasons! I guess I don't want to get that reply of 'sure I'll be over xyz' because it's then hit it is over (even though its clear it is)
I know I could retract it back and he knows I may do I'm guessing that's why, but I also need to be able to get over this to move on so needs doing.
I would just advise him that his items will be disposed of after 28 days if not collected. Make any communications brief and to the point . Do not use words like "sorry to bother you" or "I just wondered if you could call me". Do not JADE; i.e. justify, argue, defend or explain.
Do not apologise for bothering him, his stuff is in your place!. He can't be all that bothered about it seeing as he has not asked for it.
AttilaTheMeerkat
I would just advise him that his items will be disposed of after 28 days if not collected. Make any communications brief and to the point . Do not use words like "sorry to bother you" or "I just wondered if you could call me". Do not JADE; i.e. justify, argue, defend or explain.
Do not apologise for bothering him, his stuff is in your place!. He can't be all that bothered about it seeing as he has not asked for it.
THIS
I was just about to post similar, do NOT use weak apologetic language, we women do that far too often for NO reason. We apologise for existing half the time. Xx
Thanks.. Can I just reiterate that we haven't fallen out, there isn't really any negativity only silence from him because he doesn't want this. I don't want to sound formal, seems harsh, or yes apologetic as it will just prolong.. But I do know I can't keep his stuff endlessly
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