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How accurate do you think you gut instinct is?

(54 Posts)
gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:40:24

Just that really.
How many of you have went with your gut instinct and been right when it comes to partners and something just not feeling right- possible cheating
Just out of curiosity..

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gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:40:57

Sorry title is meant to say "your"

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litterbird Mon 01-Feb-21 08:43:03

100%

statetrooperstacey Mon 01-Feb-21 08:43:17

My gut instinct is excellent, but sometimes, because I think I’m clever, I ignore it. It has always been proved to be correct. Especially when I have overridden it with my head!

Shehasadiamondinthesky Mon 01-Feb-21 08:43:55

My gut is an idiot and needs some training.

mdh2020 Mon 01-Feb-21 08:44:10

My gut instinct works 100% when it comes to men. I am one of three sisters so have seen many men come and go. I knew my husband was a keeper when I met him and so it proved. I also knew my younger sister’s husband - to be (later ex) was no good as soon as I met him. Unfortunately I was proved correct. I also knew my daughter’s intended wasn’t right for her. Unfortunately I kept quiet. I should have told her sooner.

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:44:25

See, I'm not a paranoid person- never have been, so would say my gut instinct would be pretty accurate. Just wondered if others have ever been wrong with it

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gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:45:17

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Why is that? Was you wrong about something?

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Enko Mon 01-Feb-21 08:45:36

100% but I will add its rare i have the gut ohhh stay clear. When u have ignored something later always come out.

PrawnCorset Mon 01-Feb-21 08:49:03

Mine is excellent, but I’m not talking some magic instinct, I am actually noticing and responding to small cues. I’m extremely observant.

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:49:50

@PrawnCorset

I am very observant too and probably notice things most wouldnt. But it's hard when you do notice those things not to let your mind run away with itself

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Nicolastuffedone Mon 01-Feb-21 08:52:06

Pretty good. I can spot an eejit a mile away.

Crocodilian Mon 01-Feb-21 08:53:31

Not accurate if you have anxiety!!

WorkOnCore Mon 01-Feb-21 08:54:12

I could have written your posts @gutinstict

What have you noticed? Behaviour changes?

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:54:59

@Crocodilian I don't have anxiety. I'm not paranoid or naturally suspicious. But things just don't feel right and can't quite put my finger on what it is. Wouldn't ever say my partner would cheat but just little things all adding up to come to that conclusion

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gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 08:58:42

@WorkOnCore

Just small slight changes with his phone- he comes home from work every night and first place he goes is the bathroom- with his phone. Which he has never ever done before. His phone is always stuck to him- which isn't normal.

Loss of interest in me in general.

Lockdown at the moment so obviously when he isn't working there isn't anywhere for him to go really. But every day seems to be an excuse to disappear to the shops for unnecessary things, not for an overly long length of time but just not like him. Usually he hates going to the shops and just waits till I'm going and gets me to pick up anything he needs.

I didn't start my OP with this because automatically I would get "your being paranoid" but I'm really not. I'm not that kind of person.

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PrawnCorset Mon 01-Feb-21 08:59:10

gutinstict

*@PrawnCorset*

I am very observant too and probably notice things most wouldnt. But it's hard when you do notice those things not to let your mind run away with itself

Not for me. I trust my own judgement.

Can you say more about what you’re observing that’s making you think something?

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 09:01:03

Also at the weekend he nipped to his mums for a doorstep visit to drop something off. He was away about an hour. And a half. Then later his mum called and mentioned it was nice to see him even though it was a flying visit for only 5 mins. Like I say nothing major but just little things all not adding up. Obviously I haven't said anything because don't want to look like I'm mental until I actually have something to go on

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Silenceisgolden20 Mon 01-Feb-21 09:05:31

So where was he?
Def doesn't seem right.

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 09:06:40

@Silenceisgolden20

No idea, I asked him and he said his mum was exaggerating and he was there longer than that

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WarmKitty Mon 01-Feb-21 09:07:31

My ex left 2 years ago. We’d been married for 26 years. In the months leading up to his sudden announcement that the marriage was over, I had a very strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t enough of a feeling for me to even consciously acknowledge. I kept sweeping it aside and putting it down to my imagination.

I noticed him snatch the phone down very quickly when I entered a room a few times.

I once noticed him reading a message and smiling (he couldn’t see me watching).

He was distant.

He said hurtful, unkind things to me about my appearance.

He would leave the house for hours on walks.

When we went out, he would always have to join us later. Or if we were going away, the next day.

It was a very odd feeling, a bit like sand slowly shifting under me. I couldn’t put my finger on it as it was so subtle that I just brushed it all aside.

I feel stupid now because these are all the classic signs. But I never had any reason to think that he would be capable of cheating. I now know that the feeling I had was a gut feeling. I just didn’t acknowledge it because I would never have believed he’d cheat, he was loving and loyal to me and our 3 children.

I suspected that there must be someone else very soon after he’d told me that he was leaving. He denied it, hid it well for a while. Admitted to OW a few months after moving out. 17 years younger than me. I’ll never know how long or to what extent they were involved before he told me he was leaving.

In hindsight, the signs were all there and I’m still struggling with it all. He is very happy and living his best life.

I’m sorry for anyone who has had to go through this.

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 09:09:01

@WarmKitty

I'm so prey to hear that, must have been very tough on you. Hope your doing better now and moving past it. The only positive you can take from that is at least now you know to trust your gut 💞

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gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 09:09:20

@WarmKitty

Stupid autocorrect *sorry

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WorkOnCore Mon 01-Feb-21 09:09:21

Right. Your experiences sound very familiar.

Can I suggest you start keeping a diary as it will help you get your thoughts in order.

Since part of his behaviour changes involve his phone you might want to take a look at that at some stage?

gutinstict Mon 01-Feb-21 09:11:01

@WorkOnCore

I've never been one to check his phone and don't really want to do that if I can avoid it, as that could be crossing some kind of line that I'm not sure I want to cross. Wouldn't that break the trust? As I'm not saying he is Definately cheating on me- I genuinely don't know. But what I do know is that something doesn't feel right.

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