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Is throwing things towards you or in front of you violent behaviour ??

(25 Posts)
GeorgiaLouise20 Wed 27-Jan-21 17:19:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Wed 27-Jan-21 17:23:19

You already posted about this man, and of course it is violent behaviour. No question about it.

StephenBelafonte Wed 27-Jan-21 17:52:22

Yes it's violent behaviour. So is standing in the doorway and blocking your exit

KirstenBlest Wed 27-Jan-21 17:55:30

It is violence. You need to get your child and yourself away from him.

Silenceisgolden20 Wed 27-Jan-21 17:55:52

Of course it is.
It's threatening and intimidating and will lead to him hurting/hitting you too.

Wanderlusto Wed 27-Jan-21 18:04:16

Yes. It's a deliberate threat. Its showing you what he wants you to think he will do yo you if you 'misbehave'. Its also textbook sociopath behaviour.

Abusers are not abusive because they are angry. They are angry because they are abusive. There is often an element of planned aggression from them. To scare you. They disguise it as anger.

Good on you for leaving! Keep him gone!

Drinkingallthewine Wed 27-Jan-21 19:00:33

Yes.
My ex only had one incidence of physically abusive behaviour - strangulation. The rest was breaking things, smashing things, throwing things. Women's aid classed these as equally abusive/ violent.

One thing I did observe looking back is that during his rampages, it was always MY stuff that got smashed or stuff I was financially responsible for like my name on the lease. Rarely his posessions, and NEVER anything he cared about, like his expensive laptop or fancy watch or designer clothes. What that showed me was that he absolutely was in control the whole time. That his rage was capable of being directed - at me and my stuff only. And that's very different from someone who's uncontrollably angry - they'll just trash everything and anything.
It is violent. It is abusive. Leave.

user194729573 Wed 27-Jan-21 19:04:09

Yes, what you describe is classic domestic violence.

Anonanonon Wed 27-Jan-21 19:06:18

If it was a rare, one-off, out-of-character act as a result of extreme provocation, followed by immense remorse and an apology, maybe not. But what your describing is chronic behaviour that he doesn't take responsibility for. That's anything but okay.

Itstimetoquit Wed 27-Jan-21 19:07:05

Yes it is violent,I remember growing up my dad would do this to my mum and it eventually turned into physical violence x

GeorgiaLouise20 Wed 27-Jan-21 20:37:54

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OP’s posts: |
ElectraBlue Wed 27-Jan-21 20:50:41

Abusive creep...this man should not be anywhere near you or your child.

Chalkcheese Wed 27-Jan-21 21:13:45

My ex did this for a long time. He would say it was 'just' a slammed door or a broken glass or whatever. Eventually it was 'just' a push, then 'just' spitting at me, 'just' strangling me, 'just' 'just' 'just'

Get our now

user686233 Wed 27-Jan-21 21:15:45

I'd say it is agressive behaviour rather than violent, but definitely not acceptable.

GeorgiaLouise20 Wed 27-Jan-21 21:44:36

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OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Wed 27-Jan-21 21:49:41

Op how many times do you need to ask and in how many ways? Exactly what are you looking for here? How many people do you need t tell you the exact same thing?

Chalkcheese Wed 27-Jan-21 22:19:36

I mean it really does depend on what the motive behind it is. If I throw my child's pencil case to them that they've been looking for and go "catch!" Then that is not the same thing as throwing a glass at the wall next to them. With abuse the intention behind the action is what matters. If I accidentally kick somebody who I don't know is behind me that is not assault, but if I know somebody is there and kick them intentionally it is.

GeorgiaLouise20 Wed 27-Jan-21 23:34:47

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OP’s posts: |
everythingbackbutyou Thu 28-Jan-21 06:14:06

So proud of you for getting out. Abuse is so insidious, isn't it? I Especially when it is dished out by someone like the person you describe. I remember so often in my abusive marriage, hoping he would just go ahead and it me because then I would know it was abuse, instead of always wondering whether I had got it wrong somehow.

GeorgiaLouise20 Thu 28-Jan-21 07:57:14

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OP’s posts: |
Mummyy20200 Mon 08-Feb-21 12:47:42

StephenBelafonte

Yes it's violent behaviour. So is standing in the doorway and blocking your exit

Thank you. The standing in the doorway bit is random?

EarthSight Mon 08-Feb-21 12:55:54

He is a human being, not a gorilla, so he should start behaving like one.

The effect his behaviour has on you cannot be lost on him. I think a lot of men do this to scare their women. No I wouldn't accept it, not just because of fear. I would just view it as pathetic behaviour.

Mummyy20200 Mon 08-Feb-21 12:58:29

StephenBelafonte

Yes it's violent behaviour. So is standing in the doorway and blocking your exit

I don't know why that part was said - seems random. I wouldn't really consider standing in someone's way anyway near the extent of someone throwing objects towards their partner and in front of their children? 🤷. Two very different things altogether. Maybe the person blocking the other person's way was to try and talk to them. It doesn't always mean it's threatening or violent behaviour. Throwing things though is showing anger and agression and the stages of violence - if it is around children then that is a no no straight away. Thanks for your input anyway. Seems a bit random and nothing to do with anything but okay 🙂

Mummyy20200 Mon 08-Feb-21 13:00:42

EarthSight

He is a human being, not a gorilla, so he should start behaving like one.

The effect his behaviour has on you cannot be lost on him. I think a lot of men do this to scare their women. No I wouldn't accept it, not just because of fear. I would just view it as pathetic behaviour.

Yes you're right ! It is pathetic and it's childish. My DS is almost 3 and he throws things when he's having a tantrum lol! Surely if you're mature enough then you would know how to handle things in a more mature and healthy way , that doesn't involve throwing tantrums like a toddler

Itstimetoquit Mon 08-Feb-21 13:18:06

How are you op x

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