What do you think of these messages. Any men on here?

[Caprisun13]

2 days ago the man I was dating for 9 months dumped me in a snappy phone call. He is quite complex and I have been double checking how he feels this week as he's having some problems.

He was quite unkind on the day he did it. After all the good times it was hurtful. I've been going through the last two days feeling quite upset and a little heartbroken.

I don't like nastiness so I text him today and just told him I was feeling sad and hoped he was ok and to always know I cared. Xx

He wrote back I don't know what to say.

So I said I just didn't like what you said to me and hope you actually don't think I never cared as my feelings were real and it's going to be hard for me to move on anytime soon. Xx

He put same for me.

He accidentally pocket dialed me and I answered. He straight away said hello can you hang up I didn't mean to dial. So I did and messaged after to say I feel like I've lost my best friend. Xx

He replied and said

I don't feel to great myself.

I said that I hoped we could be nice about eachother and that we shouldn't leave things on a horrible note as we had such good times together. I said I hoped we could be friends eventually rather than become enemies and awkward.

He put I'm not your enemy.

(I just want to sort things out and not let things linger as everyone is hurting with these things)

So I said.

Based on your short replies it feels like you don't like me at all anymore. If you would like me to cut all contact and leave you alone for good then just say and I'll not contact you anymore.

He put I just don't want any silly messages.

So I put, I accept we are over but I'm asking you to tell me if you want us to completely cut eachother off or if you think it's possible to be friendly in the long run

(share the same friends and it's just nicer if you bump into eachother) (sent him a £30 candle set last week and now he hates me lol)

He wrote back I don't know what to say. I feel useless. I guess just got to get on.

I put why useless?

He said because I thought I was ready to meet someone (2 years single and dealing with his depression)

I said to him well maybe you are but I wasn't right for you (I also told him all his good qualities, wished him well and told him to be positive and he will meet someone right for him soon) I told him to be happy and not get himself down.

He put back an hour later. Sorry I fell asleep. Going to bed.


I just hate how awkward it is. I have some of his clothes here. We've bought eachother gifts. He's got one of my dvds. We've been through so much together and we felt so close. I think his depression got the better of us and he just can't cope with the stress.

So I am not some crazy texter. I wanted to try and discuss further the other day so we could seperate calmly and with respect for eachother. I am fine with whatever I just would rather know.

So in your views. He's not putting kisses anymore. He's replies are short. Blunt. I can tell he doesn't have much to say to me at all. I won't contact him anymore. But I'm worried he's not ok. Should I contact a friend to check in on him. Or do you think he's politely saying I don't want to speak to you. Sod off??

I know he's hurting like I am. I just can't figure out what to do next.

Please be nice.

[Mamagotskills]

He’s not interested, walk away. You’re just dragging this out and making it harder for yourself

[JorisBonson]

He doesn't want to be with you and you're still texting him. I'd be annoyed. Just back off.

[Pillowcase123]

Stop messaging him. You're doing the pick me dance.

Please think of yourself and dont do it.

[ItisLikethis]

Respect yourself. You are making yourself seem desperate and giving him more opportunities to hurt and disrespect you. Let go of what was, accept what is and have faith in what will be.

[frogswimming]

Yeah, he's not interested. He's just replying to be polite and so he doesn't feel like he's saying anything hurtful. You're wasting your time. Don't drag a forced friendship out. You were romantically involved not friends. Move on.

[Vtech]

I think you (understandably) are looking for some kind of engagement from him - an explanation, some warmth, regret - and he is trying not to get dragged into the conversation without outright ignoring you.

Gently and gracefully let this one go. He’s not the one for you, and you’ll only prolong your pain by trying to draw something out of him. Delete his number and your conversation and do all you can to put him from your mind.

[AwFeebs]

Pick yourself up OP and close this chapter of your life.

His replies tell you everything you need to know.

Don't waste your time.

[NovemberR]

You unfortunately do sound a 'crazy texter' whatever you think.

Please don't get someone to check on him, or text him again. He is fine. He just doesn't want to be with you. He's not hurting.

do you think he's politely saying I don't want to speak to you. Sod off??

Yes. Sorry.

[garden4569]

Sorry but I agree, if I were you I'd leave it and delete his number. Say hi if you see him but currently you are flogging a dead horse.

If he wants his clothes he can message you to arrange a pick up. If he's only got a dvd of yours, leave it and watch Netflix instead.

[Honeyroar]

Stop messaging him!! You’ve said enough. He’s said he isn’t your enemy- you can just say hello if you bump into him with no awkwardness. But for now leave it and try to move on.

[SendMeHome]

He’s trying to keep it civil by replying but not encouraging further replies from you.

If you can be friendlier in the future, it’s way down the road. For now, leave him be.

[Ghostella]

Stop texting him now OP and let it go.

[SJaneS49]

I’m not a man but reading this was a bit painful. Unfortunately I think you need to walk away, don’t text anymore, give yourself a couple of days to feel sorry for yourself then delete messages, pictures etc.

[youvegottenminuteslynn]

@NovemberR

You unfortunately do sound a 'crazy texter' whatever you think.

Please don't get someone to check on him, or text him again. He is fine. He just doesn't want to be with you. He's not hurting.

do you think he's politely saying I don't want to speak to you. Sod off??

Yes. Sorry.

This I'm afraid.

You really need to leave it now OP. Delete his number and work on your boundaries because this is madness - it's unhealthy and setting yourself up to feel more and more sad with every reply you get.

It's over now, you're making it more awkward if you were to bump into each other in future, not less!

[seensome]

He's ok, it's not your job to check on him, if he wanted to speak nicely he would.
Just go nc for your own good.

[bangheadhere40]

I think you should just leave it. I've been there, just made me feel worse in the end.

[wendyleen]

I agree that you sound like the crazy texter. It's all a bit deep and meaningful. He's just not interested.

It was good for 9 months. Move on.

[AramintaLee]

I agree with what all the previous posters have said. I'm sorry OP. I know how much it hurts to feel like someone you care about doesn't reciprocate.

Don't dwell on the "he has one of my DVD's" and "I have some of his clothes" to drag things out. All those things are replaceable and material. Delete his number to resist the urge to message him.

I don't think you're unreasonable to want some sort of kindness from him given how unpleasant he was when he ended things, but he clearly doesn't want to talk which is why he's being blunt and you constantly pushing and fishing is making you look a bit desperate and "bunny boiler". I know you're not and you're just hurting, but it's how he's likely viewing it. I'm sorry x

[Kittykat93]

He doesn't want you op. The sooner you realise that the better, you're making yourself look desperate.

[HelloThereMeHearties]

I wanted to try and discuss further the other day so we could seperate calmly and with respect for eachother. I am fine with whatever I just would rather know.

He has separated from you calmly. You do know.

And please, please don't use the excuse of him having your DVD to get back in touch with him! Buy yourself another copy!

[sunnyzweibrucken]

"You're doing the pick me dance"

this. you are starting to seem desperate cause you're keeping the convo going. and all that "let's stay friends" etc, means you are hinting to keep him around in hopes he will "take you back". i've done that before so i know that song and dance.

he was snippy with you and he doesn't seem to care about you all that much. just go cold turkey and block him and move on. he's not worth all the effort.

[Opentooffers]

If you leave it now, you might just about get away with the tag of 'decent girl, but not for me', any more and you will become 'pestering girl, a bit paycho' , you really don't want that banded around your friendship group. As he is part of the group, just let others look out for him, it's not your job, he's told you that, so just leave it, time to move on.

[Teentitansonloop]

What everyone else said, he's not your friend, he's your ex. Don't waste any more time or energy.

[CabernetSoWhat]

He dumped you. Stop messaging him.

[Opentooffers]

Psycho obv