This is page 1 of 1 (This thread has 10 messages.)
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.
Don't make the mistake of making it 3 times in a row, you have no ties to him,!! You did the right thing by cutting and running , by sounds of it all the hallmarks of building upto physical violence ( this comment is coming from a man's point of view,!!
It can be hard now as mixed emotions but honestly one day you will look back and be so relieved once he is out of your life and realise was a twat he is. It was draining just hearing about his constant lies and vile behaviour. Make sure you go NC with him completely and get as much support of family and friends as you can. If you need to deal with him or have any correspondence in future make sure its with a mutual or 3rd person.
Also think about your future and your needs and happiness! Especially your child's xx
Be proud of yourself for seeing through him and his toxic behaviour. Who cares what he says? He's a liar, a smokescreen. Any 'good bits' were just an illusion.
It's ok to move on. It's ok to tell him to fuck off it is OVER and block & delete him. You owe him nothing.
He, meanwhile, knows that if you take him back after all this, you'll let him get away with anything. Then he can treat you exactly how he likes, when he likes.
Remember what you wrote: "I couldn't accept that sort of behaviour from him in front of my child."
Also, his psychological problems are not yours! Forget about that. If he wants therapy (spoiler: he doesn't), he'll get it. This is not your problem to burden yourself with. Set yourself free from this loser. You can't fix him, because he thinks he's superior to you. But of course he isnt. He's toxic, as you yourself identified.
Well you can ditch the shame. That's on him, not you.
I think it's normal grieve a bit for the relationship you thought you were going to have, but didn't. It's best now to accept that that future was never going to exist, because he masked who he really was.
Anger's ok. He pissed you off. Build yourself some boundaries - for example, there are some good websites and books worth looking at like the Shark Cage one and Baggage Reclaim.
