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Ive got the icks!

(170 Posts)
000Dandelion000 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:34:24

I feel like a monster writing this. I dont want to diminish or try demeaning my OH. I just want advice on how to approach feelings/discussing this issue.

My OH repulses me, his dirty habits, laziness and constant sex fuelled remarks. I wake up feeling repulsed by the thought of him and we dont even share a bed. I see him asleep on settee and it boils my blood. Im at the point of resentment, cant bend over or lean in cupboard without gropping or sexual remarks. He hugs and kisses me i feel so turned off. Just want him to get off me. I dont want foreplay i want sex to be over quick. I just dont know why i feel obligated to have sex when i dont want it. I wanted off the pill because i didnt want sex and to see if hormones are the cause. But he suggested pulling out or other sexual things thats a no go for me. So i went back on the pill as pull out isnt guarenteed and the fact he kept asking. I never used to feel like this i enjoyed his company, the intimacy. We used to have sex everyday but now about 3 times per week. I know i could happily go without.
I have a good routine up by 7. Showered dressed sort house/go to work etc. But he can go literally weeks without showering or changing clothes and setee bedding. Makes me feel sick the smell of the room. And when i see him asleep still at 2 or 3pm angers me. Hes an all evening/night gamer, the lack of routine, motivation and poor hygiene infuritates me. I have dropped subtle hints like shall i get towels ready. Or ask him to wash bedding. I get fed up im not his mother. At the same time i dont want to belittle or be nasty to him. I dont know how to word it without it coming across like that.

Thanks to all for reading. Any suggestions?

OP’s posts: |
Northernsoullover Thu 21-Jan-21 22:36:07

Yes, leave him. Seriously. You can't go on like this.

SuperHighway Thu 21-Jan-21 22:37:02

God he sounds repulsive. If you think it's salvageable perhaps suggest couples counselling, but honestly who would want to be intimate with that?

JabbyMcJabface Thu 21-Jan-21 22:38:51

That’s a lot more serious than the ick!

ButterflyBitch Thu 21-Jan-21 22:39:24

I’ve got the ick and I’m not married to him. Eurgh. Get rid. Sex pest and hardly showers 🤢 make plans and leave him.

category12 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:41:17

Well of course you don't find him attractive, he fucking stinks.

000Dandelion000 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:43:37

The thought of leaving has delved into my mind at times. I havent got a good cashflow with covid only get called when needed for work. Im just about able to pay the rent here. All other flats are too expensive. He wouldnt be able to leave as no where to go. Only solution was to discuss but i dont know how to approach

OP’s posts: |
Backtoblack1 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:46:33

I’ve got the ick for you!!!

MrsWhistledown Thu 21-Jan-21 22:47:06

Eww how can you bear to have sex with someone who doesnt shower!

I'd give him an ultimatum that he sorts himself out or you split up. You have to be honest at this point as there's no other way forward.

category12 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:47:40

Man's a full grown adult leech.

He can sort out somewhere to live for himself.

Rockinmomma Thu 21-Jan-21 22:48:05

Sounds like my ExH grin
Is it your flat OP? Chuck him out if it is
I’d just be honest, tell him you’ve fallen out of love with him. No need to make it personal or hurtful

CherryBlossomTree7 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:49:00

That is not the ick. That is not finding a sex pest slob attractive.

Does he not work?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe Thu 21-Jan-21 22:49:07

Have to admit he sounds horrible. There's no way I'd let a dirty man near me. Why doesn't he work btw?

Purplethrow Thu 21-Jan-21 22:50:41

You need to be straight with him , sod hurting his feelings! Tell him that not washing for weeks is repulsive and until he changes his ways you won’t be having sex with him.

sanityisamyth Thu 21-Jan-21 22:52:01

Sounds like my ExH. Very glad he's an ex ...

000Dandelion000 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:53:22

He sells on ebay isnt much of a money earner. But hes stryggling to find a job with covid going on. I have spoke about the money thing before i agreed to give him time although that was about 7 months ago. Then he did selling on ebay so is able to sort his own needs out so i dont have to buy him the luxuries he wants

OP’s posts: |
Bailegangaire Thu 21-Jan-21 22:53:46


That is not the ick. That is not finding a sex pest slob attractive.

Does he not work?

Beautifully put.

OP, the ick is when you suddenly can’t bear the way your boyfriend blows his nose, or says ‘hospickle’. Yours is a filthy slob.

000Dandelion000 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:54:04

Yes the place is in my name

OP’s posts: |
Mamatoabeauty Thu 21-Jan-21 22:55:05

Yuck!! If you don’t want to be with him- get out! If you do, there is no way around it, you need to just come out and say it....I’m not really sure how to word this without coming across like your mother but your lack of routine and poor hygiene is really upsetting me. Can you start showering daily and go to bed and get up at a reasonable time. Maybe limit all night gaming sessions to the weekend....or something along those lines.

Icanflyhigh Thu 21-Jan-21 22:55:37

Oh god no that's gross. DP has on occasion "forgotten" to get in the shower after work, and attempted to get into bed..... he got told pretty damned quick to go get in the shower. Weeks is just fucking rank. You would not be unreasonable to wake him at 2pm with a bucket of cold soapy water over his head.
Sorry OP, stop having sex with this animal, set some boundary and the him to shape up or ship out.

Theredone5 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:56:57


Well of course you don't find him attractive, he fucking stinks.

Exactly that

IntrovertEm Thu 21-Jan-21 22:58:25

Why on earth are you with him!

ApplePie86 Thu 21-Jan-21 22:58:49

He doesn't shower for 3 weeks but you have unprotected sex 3 times a week?!? Really??

AlrightyThen1234 Thu 21-Jan-21 23:00:39

Kin rank!

LauEli Thu 21-Jan-21 23:01:21

Tell him to sort his sh*t out or leave. He sounds like a teenager not a grown man. I know we're in covid but there are jobs available hmm
From your op I think it's pretty clear your head is out the door...

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