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I can’t bear the loneliness

(16 Posts)
Frenchblue Thu 21-Jan-21 22:23:45

I know everyone is struggling but I’m so lonely it’s becoming unbearable. I’m just desperate for a hug or a bit of affection, it’s been so long without that human contact. I can’t see any end to it, in normal times I’d meet someone online and even if it didn’t work out I’d have something but all the conversations I have either end up with the blokes angling for sex (virtual or real) because they’re all desperate too or they just fade away because what’s the point if you can’t even meet up? I’m a very affectionate person and it’s destroying me to have something so basic taken away from me.

OP’s posts: |
OhCaptain Thu 21-Jan-21 22:26:28

Sorry you’re feeling like this.

If you’re alone can you form a support bubble or are you just meaning sexual relationships? It’s not clear (to me anyway!) from the OP.

TwoOpenOneClosed Thu 21-Jan-21 22:35:18

Hi Frenchblue I hear you it's soul destroying isn't it!
I met a guy at Christmas and met him a handful of times but he texted earlier to say he didn't want to see me again it's such hard work to find someone decent!

TwoOpenOneClosed Thu 21-Jan-21 22:38:48

I'm gutted that I don't even have him to chat to anymore its so nice just to get a message off someone and feel wanted

Somethingmavelous Thu 21-Jan-21 22:39:05

It's really hard, I'm single and struggling too.
I've been chatting to guys online (ditching the ones who want to talk about the size of my boobs etc) which helps me feel optimistic that I'll be able to date soon.
Most people are having a shitter time than usual, and I'm glad I'm not stuck in a horrible relationship- that helps me remember it could be worse

Frenchblue Thu 21-Jan-21 22:40:41

I haven’t got anyone to form a bubble with unfortunately. I don’t mean sex (although it would be nice), just a hug, someone to talk to, have dinner with, maybe wake up together - all the stuff coupled up people take for granted (and are probably sick of and desperate for some space). It’s too long to have no proper contact with another person, it feels inhuman.

OP’s posts: |
TwoOpenOneClosed Thu 21-Jan-21 22:48:14

Yes it's so hard and I'm also furloughed at the moment too so not even getting any adult contact
But yes I don't know what's worse being stuck in an awful relationship or single and alone both are very isolating!

BigDecisionsLittleTime Thu 21-Jan-21 22:54:44

It's so tough for people living alone.
Touch is such an important basic need.

I'm not an avid rule breaker, but in all honesty measured risk is reasonable I think taking into account emotional wellbeing, especially if you're in a lower risk area. And we can meet to exercise, so two new friends walking together... better than nothing. Appreciate you may have done that to death though.

IntrovertEm Thu 21-Jan-21 23:01:02

No advice but I feel exactly the same

Frenchblue Fri 22-Jan-21 07:26:44

@TwoOpenOneClosed I know what you mean about the messaging, it’s better than nothing isn’t it. I’m dreading the weekend on my own with nobody to talk to.

OP’s posts: |
TwoOpenOneClosed Fri 22-Jan-21 10:16:26

@Frenchblue yes absolutely, just seeing the little whatsapp symbol pop up was enough for me!
I'm alone all weekend too so you can chat to me if you want to x

Frenchblue Fri 22-Jan-21 10:39:36

@TwoOpenOneClosed yes! It’s just so nice when you see that pop up isn’t it 🙄 Thanks, I’ll drop you a PM x

OP’s posts: |
TwoOpenOneClosed Fri 22-Jan-21 11:08:08

@Frenchblue no problem! There's nothing in my inbox I'm not sure if you've sent one already the last one in there is from 2018 just shows how popular I am grin

misscodswallop Fri 22-Jan-21 11:43:17

That's me too. It's very lonely being single with no one suitable or safe enough to bubble with. People have said we're all in the same boat but they live with family and dont seem to understand the needs of the single alone. It really is terrible but being somewhat vulnerable I'm trying to stick it out to get through it. Still find myself in tears though.

Frenchblue Fri 22-Jan-21 21:51:32

People who have had a partner through this have got no idea - I’m not saying it isn’t difficult in other ways or playing ‘who’s got it worse’ but being alone at such a rubbish time is really really hard. And yes I’m in tears pretty often too 🙁

OP’s posts: |
Baileysandcream Fri 22-Jan-21 22:30:22

You're not alone in feeling alone @Frenchblue, I'm feeling very lonely too.

I've spent the last year alone, but with this recent lockdown, it all feels a bit relentless and neverending. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm safe and warm at home and focus on the positives, but I'm missing having someone to tell me that things will be okay.

Might sound a bit daft, but I've found a hot water bottle helps, it's something warm to cuddle and it never talks back or complains about what I'm watching on Netflix smile

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