Advanced search

Feeling frustrated

(12 Posts)
JoJo1015 Mon 18-Jan-21 23:06:13

Not sure if its lockdown just making my brain scrambled, I'm sure it is.
My partner works on a site, all men 1 woman, my issue started with the lady for a few months, I imagine things in my head going on between her and my fiance, I have had a proper discussion multiple times with my him just to clear my head and get the truth and he is not hiding anything i am certain, he tells me he hardly talks to her and she is just a work colleague, he keeps himself busy everyday, works mon-fri comes home and looks forwards to seeing us that me and hes 4 year old daughter are the only important girls in hes life, hes not interested in her or anyone and he never will be, he talks of the future, spending it with me, growing old with me...... only problem is why do i keep having this issue with this woman?! I've met her and spoke to her on about 3 or 4 occasions and she don't seem that bad, i think what got my goat was she spoke to me about a subject i hope she doesnt talk about to the guys that are on site including my fiance as i feel its inappropriate considering these men are bfs, fiances, husbands with loving partners at home etc i questioned my fiance who said in no uncertain terms does she speak like that to him or about any personal inappropriate subject and he hasn't heard her do so with anyone else so I'm assuming she doesn't talk to many women and felt happy to confide in me. I just want to get on with trusting my partner 1000% and stop obsessing over this woman who should not be invading my thinking space at all but I'm continually allowing her too angry angry
Has anyone got any ideas how i can just forget about these silly notions and this woman, please for the sake of whats left of my sanity (partly thanks to this lockdown) plus before I seriously start pissing my fella off with my constant questioning.

Much thanks

OP’s posts: |
LouiseTrees Mon 18-Jan-21 23:08:52

Is she pretty? Was the topic she covered vulgar?

JoJo1015 Mon 18-Jan-21 23:41:27

Pretty-ish the job she does standing out in all elements doesn't do her justice, shes about same age as us, give or take a year or 2, mid 30s, just hair scrapped back and no make up. She was discussing the place she lived and how the land lady is ruining her sex life etc

OP’s posts: |
Maves Mon 18-Jan-21 23:49:21

You are seriously paranoid. Unless he's cheated before then you are coming across slightly bunny. The woman spoke to you about sex as your another woman it's what they do. And in all fairness it's hardly a vulgar comment.

Nannyamc Mon 18-Jan-21 23:52:38

Life is too short to even worry about this
Get on with enjoying what you have

billy1966 Mon 18-Jan-21 23:53:36


Have you any reason to be suspicious?

Because if you haven't reason not to trust your fiance, I strongly suggest you get a good grip on these emotions and perhaps go and see someone about it.

Jealousy is a really ugly, unattractive emotion, which is awful to live with it.

It certainly has the capacity to kill genuine love.

If you are relentlessly quizzing your fiance do not be surprised if he gets second thoughts.

I would recommend to your fiance to leave you if he was my son.

Life with a jealous paranoid person is a toxic one.

This is in your hands....for the moment.

seensome Mon 18-Jan-21 23:53:51

You will ruin your relationship if you keep questioning him, unless he's been a creep in the past to make you insecure, him working with another woman, he has no control over who he works with and I assume doesn't keep in touch with out of hours? I think your just being paranoid.

rooarsome Mon 18-Jan-21 23:56:32

Have you any reason at all to be suspicious or jealous? Has he been unfaithful in the past?
If not then I mean this in the kindest way, but you need a to get grip of this ASAP. An irrationally jealous partner is incredibly draining and a relationship killer.

Flipflopfoodle Tue 19-Jan-21 10:38:25

Didn't you post about this a while ago? If so, you really need to let this go, it's not healthy.

ErickBroch Tue 19-Jan-21 10:48:26

Sorry but if that's all you're basing this on then you are being absolutely ridiculous. I feel sorry for your DH.

gannett Tue 19-Jan-21 10:51:22

Repeat after me OP: Other women are not your rivals. Other women are not your rivals.

If I was your partner I would have left already.

DasPepe Tue 19-Jan-21 10:58:08

Perhaps because she can’t talk more openly with the men at work, you were an opportunity to “let it out” for her. As such a bit of relief. Maybe she was glad to chat to you after spending a whole day with men? We can all say it doesn’t matter theoretically that she is the only woman but sometimes on a day to day, it matters.
I spend my whole day in an office where English is not the first language for most. They are all very good and certainly put me to shame with my language skills. But, whenever we have an English visitor - my god I must seem bonkers. I want to hear and soak up the accent/ cultural commonalities etc.

I suggest next time you speak to her, find out a bit more about her, instead of focusing on yourself and the idea of your partner and her. This will also help you know more about her and can help squash unfounded worries

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in