Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Just completely and utterly ‘off’ dtd.

6 replies

Beachybeach · 17/01/2021 09:41

I’ve been with my DP for three years. DTD this year has really tapered off. I just can’t seem to get myself ‘in the mood’ and when we do it we need to use plenty of lube and keep topping up throughout.

It’s really putting a strain on our relationship as DP thinks it’s something to do with him but I don’t know what’s causing it.

OP posts:

Report

RantyAnty · 17/01/2021 09:46

When you are DTD, do you enjoy it, and is he making the effort to please you?

Report

litterbird · 17/01/2021 16:13

Do you think you may be peri menopausal? You dont mention your age.

Report

Scbchl · 17/01/2021 16:17

What age are you? Could be something to do with that. How are you feeling otherwise mentally? The lockdowns having a negative impact on alot of people mentally and if you are feeling down then losing your libido can be a symptom. There is other medical things too such as underactive thyroid etc. Do you still find him attractive? Relationships are also under strain especially for some people both working from home. For most people desire comes from spending some time apart and missing them even just during the working day and without that there isnt much longing for someone if you are with them every day. I listened to a podcast a couple of weeks ago that said something along those lines.

Report

MMmomDD · 17/01/2021 16:18

How are you feeling otherwise?
It is possible that something else is going on with you physically or that you are depressed, which isn’t that surprising in these crazy times.
Either way - maybe something to talk to with your GP?

Report

category12 · 17/01/2021 16:21

How old are you?
What sort of contraception are you using?
Was your sexlife previously satisfying and fun, or not much for you?
How's the rest of the relationship?

Report

Beachybeach · 02/02/2021 22:59

sorry all for the long reply pease bare with as it’s still an issue.

We’re both mid twenties, I’m on the implant but been on it for years. It could be stress (nothing huge, just missing my previous pre-covid life and pretty bored) and DP appearance hasn’t changed that much apart from needing a hair cut, gaining a few lockdown pounds and I was never a huge fan of his style.