Tell me when you realised

Heartbreaking. I'm sorry you’re going through something like this. So pleased you are letting go of this mental anguish.

When you keep giving chances and the lesson becomes harder.

Took me 7 years. And my god dont I feel better for it. What ever it is thats made you pose this question just remember that if you lovemsomeone as much as you say you love your partner you bloody deserve to get that same love back and if you dont feel that then let go because you WILL find happiness

It wasn’t one big thing for me, but a few thing in quick succession. Although any sensible person would have looked at just one of these things and said it was enough to leave. But you don’t because you love them and they are you world.

I’m sorry your going through it, I’ve been there. There’s pain and heartache to come but you know deep down the right thing to do it walk away, just by the fact you’ve written this.

I promise you it will get better, you are strong enough to do it and in the long run things will be so much better for you.

I sort of know now 4 years aftera major incident but other stiff happened inbetween (huge family tragedy, DD getting bullied) that took the focus off it. Plus think shock sets in and being overwhelmed. But years to analyse and endless lies and more disappoint makes you stronger but you loose respect and once that's gone there's no going back. Im still biding my time as too much going off with Covid and schooling etc but I sort of have a an in my head to be on my own

Sorry awful spelling mistakes!!!

I'm going to sound like a total doormat and I probably was. He did the following before I called time:
- was hypercritical of me for a year
- told me he wasn't in love with me anymore
- moved out
- admitted he'd been having a 6 month affair
- said he was ready to speak to a solicitor but maybe not file for divorce yet
It was only then that I wiped my self esteem off the floor and filed for divorce myself
And it was still bloody difficult to stop loving him.
Hope you're ok OP. It hurts like hell but does get better.

When I started to feel that if only we could get back to a certain point and I realised there were more bad days then good. It took me a year to actually leave. I imagined if I would just be ‘skinner’, a non smoker, more educated etc, basically he made me feel like shit.

Thinking maybe he didn’t realise how much he hurt me and instead of covering the bruises I left them on show. He told me when he saw them that instead of making him sorry he’d hurt me it reminded him why he was angry in the first place. I knew it was time to go.