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Has anyone you know ever found your MN thread and realised you're the writer?

(34 Posts)
Slidearound Mon 04-Jan-21 18:26:40

I think this has happened to me.
I saw some family members (at a distance) at the weekend and MIL was asking some very odd, out-of-topic questions. My BIL seemed off-hand and it all felt a bit awkward.
I mulled over it afterwards until it dawned on me that the questions MIL was asking very much linked to a thread I'd written on here a few days before.
To my knowledge, none of the family use MN and I'd be surprised if they did, but it's definitely not impossible. The thread was to do with one of their close family members.
Any advice?
I'm nervous about seeing them again.

I think it may also have happened to me before, I suspected a few years ago that one of DH's friend's had clicked that an old thread was about DH. She asked me some very personal questions about things she would never know after bumping into her in the supermarket and then I caught her talking about me to a bunch of women I didn't know in the pub. I lipread "that's the one I told you about" as they all stared in my direction.

I use MN a lot as I'm very isolated at the moment and have been for some time, but I'd rather not be found out either.

OP’s posts: |
JustRemembering Mon 04-Jan-21 18:38:56

No, but I do fear it happening!

I name change regularly and change certain details in my posts if I can.

Nymeriastark1 Mon 04-Jan-21 18:42:49

No I don't think so, I don't post about my personal life to much for this very reason. Just very generic things like I have a DD, DP something about GOT etc. I'd love to have more advice on my mil from mumsnet as it's blunt and straight to the point, but I'm scared if I post about mine the daily fail will snap it up (yes what's she's done is that horrible they'd love it) or someone who knew me would be able to identify my by it.

Nymeriastark1 Mon 04-Jan-21 18:43:52

I'm actually going to go and NC now, just incase, needed to be done soon anyway.

DK123 Mon 04-Jan-21 18:47:55

The Daily fail picked up 2 of my posts. One would have been so awkward if the person had realised (I'd probably have been uninvited from the wedding, even though I posted because I was so worried about her) and the one was about my exH, it would be quite funny if he'd read it and seen how appalled people were by his unpleasant habits.

As far as I can tell, no one I know IRL has read one of my posts.

Motnight Mon 04-Jan-21 18:48:58

Name change regularly and deny all knowledge!

MintyCedric Mon 04-Jan-21 18:49:28

Not that I'm aware of, although I did stumble across my SIL on here a while back grin

feliciabirthgiver Mon 04-Jan-21 18:58:16

I've spotted someone I know, I've never told them I know it's them.

Slidearound Mon 04-Jan-21 19:03:04

How would you know if The Daily Fail had snapped up one of your posts? I'm guessing only if you looked at their website?

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justanotherneighinparadise Mon 04-Jan-21 19:04:31

I have family members that stalk me on here. I rather enjoy it as I make shit up just to annoy them 🤣

Aminuts23 Mon 04-Jan-21 19:05:08

My ex found my posts on here when I was considering leaving him, he did that through some sort of spyware!! The advice I received helped me leave him. He didn’t like reading other people’s opinions of him at all grin

Twickerhun Mon 04-Jan-21 19:08:23

I have been recognised on a very specific thread subject (someone made a comment directly to me by my real name) and have recognised others

BobbidyBob Mon 04-Jan-21 19:29:31

I’ve recognised people on here before but never mentioned it irl.

BathFullOfEels Mon 04-Jan-21 19:32:34

I once started a thread about a medical issue I have asking for advice. Someone linked to a long thread for several years previously which had loads of useful information. It was only when I went back to the linked thread to get the name of a particular specialist recommended that I realised I was the OP from that thread too and had seen the specialist recommended as a result 🤦‍♀️.

WingingItAtLife Mon 04-Jan-21 19:36:41

I have feared this lately as my threads would make it obvious to people who know me. If they did out me, I think I'd have a lot of people who were shocked and appalled at ex's behaviour and it would probably escalate quickly x

Slidearound Mon 04-Jan-21 19:45:40

@WingingItAtLife I have thought similarly. Even if I was outed, then it would reveal how shitty a family member's behaviour was. I do sometimes change the odd minor detail to minimise the risk of outing, but I'm aware that my last thread was actually quite obvious despite me doing this.

I guess when people who talk about us after realising it's us and we've posted anonymously, it actually says more about them if they turn it into gossip.

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LivingMyBestLife2020 Mon 04-Jan-21 19:52:53

Never on here but on Horse and Hound forum. It got quite nasty. I’d basically bought a horse who had arrived in a terrible state with lots of behavioural issues. The thread wasn’t nasty against the person I’d bought from, more for advice on the issues but she’d seen it, put two and two together from the horses issue and sent me a barrage of abuse, as did her partner, her friend, her mum... every time I blocked somebody another person popped up! I felt terrible and left the forum

nildesparandum Mon 04-Jan-21 19:53:35

I got recognised under my former user name, that's why I changed it.

davekim Mon 04-Jan-21 19:57:00

My DSis recognized me but she knows I am a long term mumsnet addict and it was a fun thread I told her about. Now I name change every couple of weeks/months and flit between several names at a time.

tomnjerrylover Mon 04-Jan-21 20:26:33

I change my user name all the time for this reason and that I don't want anyone to be able to trace me back to a specific thread I started about an affair.

Ninkanink Mon 04-Jan-21 20:36:47

Not that I know of.

If it concerns you, namechange every month or so, or before you post anything that you don’t want linked to your previous posting history.

DorisDaisyMay Mon 04-Jan-21 20:41:56

I once had someone implying they knew me in a thread but I searched their comments and there was nothing they said in other threads that made me think I knew them eg they mentioned boyfriend and locations in a totally different part of the country to me. So I dismissed it.

Dizzy1234 Mon 04-Jan-21 20:43:12

Just deny it OP, if someone mentions MN look puzzled "what's MN, never heard of it, is it a new program on the telly?"
Deny, deny, deny.
😉

RUOKHon Mon 04-Jan-21 20:50:49

SIL was convinced she’d found a thread on here started by me under a different username. She showed me the thread and even though it was quite a similar situation to mine (to do with DSC) it 100% genuinely wasn’t me. There are lots of similar themes that crop up on here again and again - cheating, narc relatives, step-family issues, etc - unless your situation is really unique, just deny all knowledge.

Sideorderofchips Mon 04-Jan-21 21:12:49

Yes because the crazy ow was stalking me all over the place and used it to bully me into submission again.

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