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I’m going to cancel Christmas in my house

(351 Posts)

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Unsurekitten84 Sat 05-Dec-20 16:58:22

I think the UK should have made that decision tbh. No mixing of households. Keep the tier system. Just leave it this year.
I’m quite looking forward to not having to put the tree up or wrap the stupid stocking presents. In fact it is possibly one of the few covid upsides. The downside is my MiL will still demand to see us and is looking forward to everything going ‘back to normal’ for five days, during which she will see everyone she’s ever met 🙄. I’ve said I don’t want to go but dh has overruled me as apparently she has to see her grandchildren on Christmas Day.
We won’t be seeing my family though.

OP’s posts: |
HerbErtlinger Sat 05-Dec-20 17:00:58

How old are your children?

audweb Sat 05-Dec-20 17:02:17

Why does not mixing households mean you can’t put the tree up etc? Seems like it doesn’t have to be either or, it can be a bit of both.

MrsMarrio Sat 05-Dec-20 17:03:04

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dragongirl10 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:03:27

Won't your children miss a tree and stockings op?

You don't have to see anyone.

Diddlysquatty Sat 05-Dec-20 17:03:52

Eh? So you are going to see MIL so really you’re not doing things much different to anyone else - it’s hard to see both sides of the family within the rules as only works if they don’t want to see anyone else.
You’re just not putting your tree up which seems sort of unconnected. Up to you if you don’t want to as long as it won’t disappoint anyone else in your house like kids

BashfulClam Sat 05-Dec-20 17:05:18

Mil thinks next year things are going ‘back to normal’, this is the first year for 7 years that but stayed overnight (she lives 20 minutes away and we only get the standard days off). I don’t want her to stay again so it won’t be going back to normal at all if I can help it!

lazylinguist Sat 05-Dec-20 17:05:38

How will not putting the tree up and not giving your children presents help combat the spread of the virus? I can see why you wouldn't want to see your MILif she's 'seeing everyone she knows', but why does that mean not doing stockings etc for your dc? We're not seeing anyone over Christmas, but that doesn't mean it's cancelled. It just means we'll have Christmas with just the four of us.

Crappyfridays7 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:05:38

Just because you don’t want to do Christmas doesn’t mean no one else wants to miss out. I never have family here as my mum lives 500 miles away and has shielded since March. My sister has her own family & we can FaceTime on the day. But my kids will still have a nice time, I understand people who are on their own or folk with elderly parents not wanting them to be alone on the day. But I also see no need to completely cancel it!! You want to them great that’s your choice hope your kids don’t mind. It’s a nice day to look forward to when we’ve had little else. Tell your mother in law no don’t go or allow her round and be as stubborn about that if Christmas is cancelled?...

IcedPurple Sat 05-Dec-20 17:06:26

I think the UK should have made that decision tbh. No mixing of households. Keep the tier system. Just leave it this year.

Such a decision would be impossible to enforce. You may isolate yourself as much as you wish however. I'm also not sure what your Christmas tree has to do with anything?

Unsurekitten84 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:07:18

I don’t want to see MiL. I won’t be given a choice. Dh will say we are going so we will go. She’s seen all and sundry throughout the whole thing anyway.
My children will be 5 and 12.
They only squabble and annoy each other all Christmas anyway and wake up at 4am so everyone is overtired and fed up by 9am.

OP’s posts: |
Jrobhatch29 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:07:32

Well you're full of Christmas cheer fsmile

BackforGood Sat 05-Dec-20 17:12:40

I'm confused how you think putting your tree up or wrapping presents is going to spread the virus ?

Not really sure what you are wanting people to say, in response to this post ?

WankPuffins Sat 05-Dec-20 17:12:52

Bloody hell. And I thought I was the Grinches long lost sister.

I HATE Christmas. But I've got three kids, so you know, tree, presents, games. For them. I wouldn't take that away from them for anything.

Put your foot down and don't see MIL. But don't take any little bit of joy away from your children.

Unsurekitten84 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:12:56

The only part I vaguely used to like was seeing my family and friends - and that’s not going to happen this year. Christmas always falls in its entirety to me and frankly I cannot be bothered. It annoys me that I can’t see my parents, who have no one else but me but I have to see MiL who has loads of people and will see them all because she won’t keep to the rules. I am sad for my parents but part of why I won’t see them is because of having had contact with MiL. She was meant to isolate about two weeks ago and didn’t because ‘she’d know if she’d got it.’

OP’s posts: |
HerbErtlinger Sat 05-Dec-20 17:13:16

I can't imagine cancelling Xmas for a 5 and 12 year old, it seems really cruel after a year of crap. We always spend Christmas just the 5 of us at home, it's a huge leap to go from 'we shouldn't be mixing households' to 'I'm cancelling all the fun stuff for my children AND still mixing households regardless'

Unsurekitten84 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:14:53

Not my choice to mix households. I would just stay here and treat it like a normal day.
I won’t have any say in seeing MiL. Dh has made it clear we are going over even though we aren’t seeing my parents.

OP’s posts: |
Rosehip10 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:15:04

If you want a quiet, Christmas and to essentially shield op then you do that. Stop worrying about what others may or may not be doing.

YellowMelllow Sat 05-Dec-20 17:15:41

It sounds as if you only want Christmas to be cancelled so you don't have to see you MIL... rather than to stop the spread of the virus.

If you don't want to go.. then don't. If you're the only one doing everything for Christmas, make your family help!

Unsurekitten84 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:16:13

It annoys me even more that we should have had lunch with my parents this year, but now they will lose this year and we will still have to go to MiL’s next year for lunch 🙄.

OP’s posts: |
Rosehip10 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:16:27

And it sounds like your issues are mainly with dh and his family rather than the covid situation.

CodenameVillanelle Sat 05-Dec-20 17:16:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Unsurekitten84 Sat 05-Dec-20 17:17:16

I will have to see her and we will end up there most of the day if we aren’t seeing my parents. It’s inevitable.
If dh wants to put the tree up and sort all the presents and cook lunch then he can - but he won’t - so consequently none of those things will happen.

OP’s posts: |
MynephewR Sat 05-Dec-20 17:17:56

So basically you're throwing your toys out of the pram and ruining your kids Christmas because you aren't getting to do what you want to do? Nice hmm

squashyhat Sat 05-Dec-20 17:18:05

Oh come on don't be so wet. Talk to your DH. Tell him what you are prepared to do and what you aren't. He can take the kids to see MIL. Agree some rules for everyone to manage expectations, including sharing chores, and don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

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