Not making excuses but I had a dreadful childhood which damaged me. I’ll just put that out there first and it’s no excuse but emotional and physical abuse really really changed me. I was either trying to avoid it or trying desperately to escape or when I couldnt escape trying to do everything I was told to avoid being subjected to it it was awful.
Anyway this has led me to be an awful partner. Probably considered ‘abusive’ but it’s because of fear.
Fear of being abandoned
Fear of being rejected
Fear of being alone
Fear of being cheated on
So although I would never physically hurt my dh I think my behaviour and jealousy and how I am in general is actually some kind of emotional abuse or coercive control ? I’m not sure but I don’t want to be that person.
Can I change ?
How can I change ? CBT? Psychiatrist?
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Feeling bad and want to change
7 replies
ashamedbutwanttochange · 04/12/2020 18:34
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