I'm so ashamed about my behaviour when I look to the past.
When I was 14, I met an older guy.
Within days, I lost my virginity to him. We didn't last long, and a friend of his asked to have a 'one off' with me..this sounds so stupid, but I did it so as not to hurt his feelings.
I went completely off the rails, and ended up regularly sleeping or performing sex acts to someone who was old enough to be my grandad (not linked to the other people)..I lied initialy to these people, and said that I was 15..however when I confessed my real age this carried on (although thy were shocked at first). I didn't particularly enjoy doing this, but I didn't like to say no (I know how that sounds now)
Someone I knew in passing offered my money to perform a sex act on him, which I'm ashamed to say I did, the much older man gave me small amounts of money at times (though it was never said that it was for what I was doing) I must have had such a reputation..I'm not sure if I was abused, or these men were taking advantage of that reputation.
It all seems like another life away..I would turn the clock back, there is so much that I would change
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Unsure if I was abused as a teenager, or if it was me *potentially triggering**
30 replies
namechange19790 · 21/11/2020 21:05
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