Just after a bit of advice. I'm pretty exhausted so my sense of judgement is a bit skewed.
9 month old DS has been very grizzly today, he slept badly last night waking every 2-3 hours and his naps have been a bit rubbish today so I think he's over tired. He had a cold last week and his 6th tooth has just come through so he's had calpol. I sorted his dinner, gave him a bath and then he had some milk (breastfed) and into his sleeping bag. I started gently rocking him to make him sleepy but he was extremely hyperactive due to overtiredness. I therefore enlisted help of DH who started rocking him but DS was crying and screaming, DH became agitated really quickly and kept saying DS' name loudly and then said we should put something on for him to watch. I said I thought that would make him more awake and DH said "fine we'll let him just walk around for hours then and he'll turn into a spoilt brat", to which I said I wasn't suggesting that. He said that DS was putting the crying on. So he put an episode of Moon and Me on his phone and commenced rocking again, I popped to the loo and the next thing I know DH was storming into his bedroom holding DS and said he was being "a wise pain". He then put his TV on and became frustrated again trying to find a certain remote control, so I popped downstairs to try and find it and as I was coming back up I heard DH say "for f*s sake" and DS had bashed his head on the doorframe as he'd put him down on the floor. He passed him to me and snapped at me to give him some milk and said he was going for a vape. I felt a bit shaken up but gave DS his milk and sang him lullabies quietly until he fell asleep.
If I ever do struggle with night wakings and can't get DS back to sleep, I sometimes ring DH to come and help (I cosleep with DS in a separate room due to DH's awful snoring, but am planning to get DS into his cot this week) but he gets so impatient and if he can't get DS back to sleep within a couple of minutes he starts sighing and swearing, to the point that I would rather not have the help anymore, although he does always say to call him anytime I need a hand.
For background, I'm starting to come round to the idea that DH may be a bit of a narcissist / emotionally abusive, but what I'm really asking is, is his reaction normal and am I just being a soft touch. I just get so anxious when he reacts like this.
Sorry for the long post.
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Is DH too impatient with DS or am I being a bit "pfb"?
PigeonDove · 18/11/2020 19:55
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