Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Do women get attracted to men like men do with women?(34 Posts)
I'm a woman and my boyfriend says I can't understand male arousal. He says that men can look at a good looking woman and get sexually aroused, the same thing that made him choose me..lol.
But I must admit as a woman, although I'm definitely attracted to men, I've never experienced that. That is to get sexually aroused by strangers. Talking to other women online and in real life, that seems to be the case.
Maybe it's evolutionary, men having more testosterone means they are more aroused. Along with the fact that they bare little of the reproductive burden (less chance of STD's, violence, pregnancy), probably means that men are much more eager to get aroused by and pursue strangers for sex than women.
Whilst I admit that men may be more prone to this for the reasons you've outlined, I have definitely eyed up me in a sexual way and I know other women who do. I don't necessarily do anything about it IRL though.
Well of course you don't understand male arousal, being female. But that works both ways that he won't understand female arousal. So couldn't say if it is different or not. So what makes him have a superior view of female arousal?
they bare little of the reproductive burden
Did you mean bare, or did you mean bear?
I have met women like that. I used to work with a colleague who had a definite things for mixed race or black men. I swear, she needed a fan on the days when we had hip hop type events 😂 Sometimes a guy would need her help. Usually handsome but dressed and looking like something from a rap video. She was visibly flushed afterwards and we all found it amusing.
Also, I think in women it manifests slightly differently. I think women are more likely to have a giddy, giggling, thrilling, squealing, joyfully excited eaction than maybe what men feel which is more physically based.
Massive generalisation alert but I think attraction for men is primarily sexual / physical, at least initially. Whereas for women it is more of an emotional connection ( that then makes them want to rip said blokes clothes off)
Hmmmm not sure I could simply look at a man in a photograph or on tv and be sexually aroused but I could do with someone for example opposite me on a train or in a social context. I'd call it a very very strong feeling of lust. Having said that I've always been more of an "alpha" female and had a more typically male attitude towards sex (multiple partners, no emotional connection necessary) etc
In answer to your title, this woman does. I can see an attractive man man, get turned on and want to have sex with him without getting to know him (or even his name). If I’m on my own, I will happily let out a quiet “phwoar” if the man in question is really hot. Like a PP, sex and emotion don’t need to go together for me and I’ve had multiple partners, FWBs.
lso, I think in women it manifests slightly differently. I think women are more likely to have a giddy, giggling, thrilling, squealing, joyfully excited eaction than maybe what men feel which is more physically based.
Sorry but how can you not see how stereotypical this is?
Of course women do. That’s why plenty of women have one night stand, random hook ups, affairs, sleep with their boyfriends straight away. This notion that our sexuality is somehow “feminine” is frankly a way for men to judge and shame women for being sexually active.
Whilst I have met definitely someone (numerous times!) and wanted to fuck them without knowing a whole backstory or having an emotional connection at all, I can’t say I’ve got “giddy and squealed with joyful excitement”
Blimey this thread is hilarious!
In answer to your question, this woman does. I second Userengage post.
And FWIW, giggly and giddy is the last thing I am re: generalisation upthread.
And just because a woman can’t have an obvious erection like a man can it’s doesn’t mean they aren’t just as turned on
You've never looked at someone and thought 'I need them. I need them NOW!' ? I do all the bloody time.
Every pissing day recently, it seems more and more likely that I'm a man in disguise. I'm womaning all wrong.
It seems more and more likely that I'm a man in disguise. I'm womaning all wrong.
It’s probably because I’m sex starved having been single for nearly 6 years and having very little interest from men (only very old ones ) but yep...totally get turned on sometimes just seeing a guy. It’s become worse in the lockdown! Just a proper pang of longing and an “UGH. Why do men have to be so manly and rrrugh!” There’s just so much about them that I find physically attractive. The way they’d lust over boobs and butts and shiny hair...I’m like that with arms and shoulders and stubble and jaw lines and man hips and their deep husky voices. I’m surprised I haven’t melted into a puddle on the floor before now.
I am genuinely the kind of person who could jump a guy’s bones (sorry, know it’s a horrible phrase). But it’s just chemical. Hormone wise I’m actually quite low testosterone and high oestrogen. It’s probably my poor fatherless eggs screaming at me.
I think men like to think they’d love to be with a woman who was super up for it just by looking at them etc but in all honesty, I’ve yet to meet a man who wasn’t terrified/turned off by me. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t ever do one night stands to just casual sex anyway...for my own values and feelings it’s important for sex to be in a committed relationship but...even then...I’ve found that I get a horrified response sometimes. It’s made me lose so much confidence.
I’ve never got giddy and squealed though.
I have felt this way all my life. If I meet( or see) someone i find attractive im instantly aroused, it doesnt even have to happen IRL, I feel the same way about seeing a shirtless Jason Mamoa! TBH this thread is a bit of an eyeopener, I always assumed most women feel the same way. We are just monkeys in shoes at the end of the day- our entire biology is wired around sex and reproduction, regardless of our gender or sexual orientation. When all is said and done though, theres a lot more at play here than just biology. Theres personal preference, sociatal norms, religious belief, past experiences and a million other factors that come into play when looking at sexual arousal- its a very personal experience.
I definitely get a physical response! I have a high sex drive though. Maybe that makes a difference?
Why are you even listening to a male opinion on what women can or can’t feel?
Personally I’d LTB for this one
I'm bisexual and have looked at both men and women who I've instantly thought FUCK YOU ARE SO HOT and been hugely sexually attracted to them.
I assumed men and women all had that instant sexual attraction to people at various times? Other than people who are asexual obviously.
And FWIW, just like other posters I absolutely don't get 'giddy' or 'giggly' just because I happen to be a woman.
Please login first.