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Feeling really down that it might be over

(2 Posts)
SardonicSmile Thu 29-Oct-20 21:13:08

I've been with BF for 2 1/2 years now.

When we met I felt there was so much potential. He was really sweet, we enjoyed doing the same things and we had really good fun together. We talked about the future a bit but I needed to take things slowly as I had been in a really difficult previous relationship. Fasting forward to now and I'm struggling. Most of the time we sit at home and about once a month go out for a drink to a local pub. He is always working and we never talk about the future. We hardly ever do anything together unless I suggest it. I feel like I'm ready for the relationship to move forward but he isn't.

It started a year ago when he went through a period of depression. When he came out the other side of it he was really sweet and started telling me how I was the only person he ever wanted and he really cared about me and he would make more of an effort. Since then nothing has changed. We went away for a weekend recently and had a lovely time but the minute we came back he was working really hard again and taking me for granted.

The thought of finishing with him makes me feel really sad. It's the thought of throwing away something that had/possibly still has so much potential. On the other hand, if I don't finish it, I'm worried I'll be wasting more of my time on him. I really care about him. I really don't know what to do anymore.

OP’s posts: |
Chocolatefreak Fri 30-Oct-20 20:44:26

Do you think he might be entering another spiral of depression? Ask yourself honestly if you have enough happy memories of being together to be able to realise the potential you see in the relationship, or if it was just the honeymoon phase that was fun and exciting. Also, this may also sound insensitive but if someone has a generally negative personality this can suck the energy and joy of those close to them so they end up being miserable too (ie you). I've seen it happen and no-one wins in this scenario. Can you try talking to him to find out if he still looks forward to a future with you? Or if he's emotionally stuck, would therapy help, so you can both move on, either together or separately? It actually sounds like you have begun to make a decision about him, but are concerned about the distress this will cause to you both. Sympathies to you and hope you can find a resolution soon.

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