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Relationships

5 dates with a guy. He's moving away for work. I'm a bit confused.

44 replies

Snailer · 27/10/2020 23:16

Hello MN,
Keeping this nutshell size. If I can...
5 dates with a guy (met on tinder) (2 of them virtual but about 3 hours long) - met 6 weeks ago. Both busy with work & child commitments.
There's defo been chemistry when we've met IRL & had a great time & loads of texts telling me he did too.
He got a job which will take him to another part of the country from next week til next Summer (home some weekends)
He has lots to organise & has said a few times he doesn't know how he'll be able to plan everything. I said in a text he might want to take me out of the logistics equation- (tbh I'd be gutted but would get over it as only met 3 times IRL) - he said he has feelings for me & wants to carry on but this was a week ago.
Lots of texts. No suggestion of when we can meet/anything solid just lots of texts saying 'Morning!' And 'sweet dreams' and how was your day...
I've instigated every date so far.
My gut feeling is he's keeping me on the back burner and likes the texts/attention. Never suggests a phone call or anything more.
My gut feeling is usually very accurate.
Is this going anywhere? Any thoughts/advice welcome. Do men ever just enjoy the 'text life'?

OP posts:
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HotToCold · 27/10/2020 23:20

Move on...

Not worth it

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edwinbear · 27/10/2020 23:28

Another vote for move on. I’ve had similar, texting is easy, requires no investment of their time and gives them an ego boost. The fact he’s not asked to see you before he leaves is telling.

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billy1966 · 27/10/2020 23:29

Wasting your time.

Ditch.

Your gut is soundFlowers

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Snailer · 27/10/2020 23:35

@HotToCold @edwinbear @billy1966 thanks.
Needed to read this.
My self confidence is pretty poor at the best of times. Recently boosted lots but the last week I feel like I'm sinking again. Can't be doing with that.

OP posts:
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CausingChaos2 · 27/10/2020 23:40

Onwards and upwards OP. Drawing a line under this leaves you free to meet a man who can’t get enough of you and shows it.

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widespreadpanic · 27/10/2020 23:41

Y’all haven’t talked on the phone yet?? Well he’s using you as a time waster til he moves to his new city.

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SavageBeauty73 · 27/10/2020 23:42

It's called 'breadcrumbing'. He likes the attention. Move on.

Big hugs. I'm online dating too. It's brutal!

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burglarbettybaby · 27/10/2020 23:43

Leave it. If you have to instigate the dates and he doesn't even bother to phone. Now he's moving. What's the point?

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Summerfreeze · 27/10/2020 23:44

He's just not that into you.

Sorry, you deserve better. Just move on.

(Wouldn't be surprised if the sudden move was a lie, by the way.)

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AngryPumpkin · 27/10/2020 23:46

.

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LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella · 27/10/2020 23:46

He's keeping you on the back burner. Please stop messaging him.

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Snailer · 27/10/2020 23:58

@SavageBeauty73 thanks! - just googled 'breadcrumbing' & that's exactly what it is!
No commitments but some big wordy texts - my gut feeling is that he's enjoying the attention from others too. Dammit. I may never meet a decent man. 🤯

OP posts:
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seensome · 28/10/2020 00:01

Move on or best case it would be a ldr with a few texts a day and not seeing each other most weeks, I'm sure that's not what you want anyway? Keep him as a contact for when/if he moves back and you're both single.

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seensome · 28/10/2020 00:03

And yes you're more likely to meet a decent man by the binning flakey ones

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DatingDickheads · 28/10/2020 00:53

Agree with breadcrumbing!

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AdaColeman · 28/10/2020 01:01

He’s enjoying having you stroke his ego, there’s nothing in this for you.

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MarvinTheSadMartian · 28/10/2020 02:18

OP he is playing you. You just met recently. He should be falling over backwards to impress you and be kind and attentive. Honestly, it sounds like a waste of time and like either he has some serious issues or he had a gf or wife already. Sad Either way, you are better off out of it!

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Georgeoftheinternet · 28/10/2020 03:49

I don’t believe the moving away part

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Nicolastuffedone · 28/10/2020 06:12

I don’t believe the working away story either tbh

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AnyFucker · 28/10/2020 06:15

Married

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Namechangedforthisoct2 · 28/10/2020 06:25

Yup I’ve had this too, I’m sure he likes you but his heart isn’t fully in it and just wants the attention and safety that he has someone while he transitions into a new life, if you like you’re his handhold

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Wanttobeonabeach · 28/10/2020 07:53

When does he leave?

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TwentyViginti · 28/10/2020 08:05

Married/ego stroke/penpal/whatever - stop wasting your time on him.

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ravenmum · 28/10/2020 08:13

So within a period of 7 weeks he'll supposedly have gone from looking for a local relationship to having left the area entirely for a year?

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DianaT1969 · 28/10/2020 08:15

So did he not know about his job move a few weeks ago when he went online looking for a local relationship [no strings shag]?

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