When DP and I first met, he was a bit of a hothead –used to fly off the handle about things and go and shut himself in his studio for hours to cool down, slamming the door on the way in.
At one point I put my foot down, and told him that I needed him to address the problem, because I couldn't live with someone who behaved that way.
When he told me he couldn't help it, I said that that was a shame, and in that case I would need to think about whether or not I could stay in the relationship, given that it couldn't change.
He hasn't done it even once in the three years since.
He's become more open with me about his feelings, and if he's annoyed about something and needs to go cool off, he'll tell me: "I need to be by myself for a bit – I love you and we'll talk, I just can't right now."
It's one of the reasons I love him so much – when I address things that aren't working for me, he does something about it, even things that feel impossible to him, he'll try.
It's made me more conscious of how I behave with him, too, and want to work actively on things I can do to make our relationship better.
I see a lot of chat on MN about things our DPs need to work on, reasons to LTB etc., and I'm wondering – how / in what ways have you grown in your relationships?
Is there anything you're actively trying to get better at?
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Relationships
What have you learned / worked on about yourself in your current relationship?
7 replies
ladybee28 · 27/10/2020 10:02
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