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Kiss of death

(76 Posts)
KissofDeathCovidBreath Tue 20-Oct-20 08:54:21

The more I think about this the more annoyed I am getting. Just going to spill it and get it off my chest.

My BF of 4 years and I don't live together, although we are looking at moving in together in 2 years, and relocating 250 miles at the same time.

Because of covid we have bubbled up and he had been staying at mine quite a lot. I have 3 children, he has none.

Over the weekend he started to feel unwell, did the symptom checker on the app and it said unlikely to be covid. I kept him dosed up on cold and flu tablets and generally looked after him.

Yesterday he gets a phone call from his boss saying one of his colleagues has a positive covid test and so he needs to have a test. So off he goes for his test. He speaks to the colleague in question and his symptoms are identical.

So the part that had annoyed me is that he keeps kissing me. Even after telling me that he had identical symptoms to the covid positive colleauge. I have asked him several times not to but he thinks it is some kind of joke.

I have pulled him up and told him I am really really annoyed with him and he said he is sure he doesn't have corona and I am over reacting.

My point is it doesn't matter if he has corona or flu or chicken pox or Ebola. The point is that he is ill, and I don't want to be ill, covid or not! He can just laze around being waited on but I have 3 children to look after. The world doesn't stop just because mum gets ill.

So if he gets a negative test like he is convinced he will, he will swan off to work and I will be left feeling ill managing 3 children and working from home.

Plus I assume that if he gets a negative test and I then get symptoms, me and the children will have to carry on isolating until I get a negative test?

Anyway he thinks I am over reacting but I think he is absolutely stupid, selfish and inconsiderate.

I have sent him off to isolate at home. Would you be furious too?

He has been moaning how dreadful he feels all weekend, why would you want to share that to someone you supposedly love! I just don't get where he is coming from at all.

OP’s posts: |
tropicalwaterdiver Tue 20-Oct-20 09:08:07

Even if he has cold, it's still infectious and he can pass it to you and kids. Agree, it's very selfish and inconsiderate to kiss other people when you are sick.

HyggeHeart Tue 20-Oct-20 09:13:10

So selfish! I'd be seriously annoyed, who does that!

copperoliver Tue 20-Oct-20 09:20:12

Good you've sent him home, I'd have sent him home as soon as he felt Ill x

VanGoghsDog Tue 20-Oct-20 09:25:08

To be honest, anyone kissing me in any circumstances when I don't want them to is an arse.

But it should be easy enough to avoid by telling him he has to stay two meters away or go home (he's supposed to isolate for fourteen days if he's been in contact with someone with the virus. Being with you and close enough to kiss you, is not isolating).

I thought you only got a test if you had one of the three specific Covid symptoms though? Not just because someone you know has tested positive or because you've got cold symptoms.

Sunshineandflipflops Tue 20-Oct-20 09:30:11

If you're going to get whatever he has then you will get it from being in the same house and being near him. I'm not sure the kissing makes it much more likely.

But if you've asked him not to kiss you then he should respect that, for whatever reason.

KissofDeathCovidBreath Tue 20-Oct-20 09:39:36

He got a test because although his symptoms aren't the main three, he has been in contact with someone who had a positive test displaying the same symptoms.

I was trying to keep my distance, he said he didn't want to be home alone Ill, so I said he could stay as long as he stayed in bed out of the way. Instead he was wondering round the house trying to come and sit near me and coming over and kissing me like it is a big game. Hence why he had now been sent home. If he stayed in bed Ill then fine I can contain it.

The kids were making a snack and he went to go in the kitchen. I asked what he was doing! He said he fancies a snack. Why not just ask me to make him something instead of taking his germs near the kids. I am furious with his stupidity.

OP’s posts: |
NewlyGranny Tue 20-Oct-20 09:48:47

In our house, someone with even a cold will take off and sleep on the spare room. We make sure to cough and sneeze into a tissue and dispose of our dirty ones right away. It's considerate and just common sense.

He's been thoughtless and cavalier. Is he seeing you as some superwoman who does everything, looks after everyone and never gets ill? He might think you're his mum...

Bunnymumy Tue 20-Oct-20 10:24:36

Some situational reactions show us exactly how a person is. This has showed you he is selfish and cares more about his desires than your health or that of your kids. Also, that he doesn't give a shit about your boundaries. I'd be worried op.

bebarkered Tue 20-Oct-20 14:11:19

Please please OP make him go home. TODAY. You cannot afford to risk getting ill. It's ok him taking the piss with his kissy kissy routine, but, no one knows how Covid will affect your body (if he has it and you catch it off him). I really hope you don't xxx

KissofDeathCovidBreath Tue 20-Oct-20 16:04:09

I sent him home yesterday, he couldn't respect my boundaries around isolating and minimising the risk so he can suffer on his own.

I am glad I don't seem to be over reacting. I'm not even that worried about covid because the kids and I had all the textbook symptoms first time round, but I still don't want to be ill.

OP’s posts: |
Greeneyes78 Tue 20-Oct-20 17:07:00

I would not be furious.

SoulofanAggron Tue 20-Oct-20 17:17:42

You're not overreacting, with 3 kids it can't be any fun if you get ill. Well done for sending him home. xxx

@Greeneyes78 Wouldn't you? Or was that a typo? If nothing else, he shouldn't ever be kissing someone when they've said they don't want to be kissed. And especially in OP's home he should be behaving as she feels right/asks for.

Fortunategirl Tue 20-Oct-20 17:25:52

Selfish. He’s potentially infected you all with a virus that kills people. Shows you how much he cares about your well being! I hope for your sakes he is negative. Disgusting behaviour.

madcatladyforever Tue 20-Oct-20 18:20:14

I would have sent him home permanently.

KissofDeathCovidBreath Wed 21-Oct-20 07:17:44

Now he has a positive covid result. Woke up this morning to a text from him with a copy of his result.

Fantastic.

OP’s posts: |
Northernsoullover Wed 21-Oct-20 07:22:26

I hope he's bloody sorry. He should have gone straight home at the first symptom. He's a fucking tool.

BadDucks Wed 21-Oct-20 07:26:13

God what a massive twat he is. I hope you rethink your relationship with him.

SistemaAddict Wed 21-Oct-20 07:31:32

That would be the end of the relationship for me. He's put you and your dc at risk and now you are going to have to isolate for 2 weeks. Selfish bastard.

Dontletitbeyou Wed 21-Oct-20 07:56:43

Wonder if he still thinks it’s a big game now he’s tested positive . Wandering round your house , kissing you , wanting to make a snack while DC are in the kitchen , despite you asking him to stay in bed out of the way
Selfish cunt with no respect for you or DC .
Hope you and DC are ok .

rorosemary Wed 21-Oct-20 08:04:44

I'd rethink the relationship if he can't respect your boundaries.

I'm sorry he has covid, I hope you don't get too sick.

KissofDeathCovidBreath Wed 21-Oct-20 08:06:14

He said if I was going to catch it I would catch it anyway so the kissing doesn't make any difference.

I disagree and think that with hygiene and sensible distancing it can be avoided. And even if he is right there is no point taking unnecessary risks is there. You wouldn't go without sun cream for a two week holiday just because it's hot anyway so you might as well just burn.

Probably not the best analogy but I am too mad to think of anything else.

OP’s posts: |
myshoelaces Wed 21-Oct-20 10:23:18

He's wrong. If he had isolated properly in a bedroom he in all likelihood wouldn't have passed it on. He's been incredibly selfish and way too casual about your health and your kids. He doesn't even sound remorseful.

justilou1 Wed 21-Oct-20 10:30:53

Wow! Even if it were Manflu, you were not being unreasonable. Bloody Men and their unwillingness to listen to your boundaries. He was being a selfish dick! Has he apologized at all?

Monr0e Wed 21-Oct-20 10:47:09

OP, you are right, he has been very selfish. I hope you and your dc's are all ok.

Do you mind me asking what the symptoms were? My DD is currently isolating as a close school friend has tested positive. She has been ok but quite tired, had a nap yesterday afternoon which she never does, she's 10.

I'm full of a cold though, very headachy and usual cold symptoms. I think I'm just being paranoid but interested to know others symptoms, thank you.

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