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She played me.

(27 Posts)
Bolond Fri 09-Oct-20 14:47:16

Short story: For 16 months ago she left. Since then mixed signals. After like 2 months she wanted sex and got that. I got presents,dinners,sextoys,we slept naked togheter like 10 Times,i got birthday gifts with hearts on them etc. I got my hopes on. She moved and i got one key to her flat. We hanged a lot,we have one kid who was 2 months old when she left. She wanted me to sleep over and the day after she wanted to go out and eat. We spent the hole day togheter with our kid. The evening arrived and the asked me to spend the night. I did and We both slept naked. No sex. Can you understand i got my hopes on?

I liked to surprise her during my childweek and have done so 5-8 Times. I got the key also. She was always happy to see the kid and me,she made coffe and bought breakfast.

So 25/9 our kid turned 1,5 years. I wanted to surprise her. Arrived and went inside. Nobody there,i usually go to the bedroom so i did. She was riding another dude!
I fell apart. She came out. We talked. She said the guy was only sex and nothing serious at all (The guy must have heard that,laying 2meters away) its weird i say so about him laying so close,she said.

She has been feeling very down because of the breakup(16months ago!!?),she continued saying that she is so afraid to see me with another women(??)
She loved having sex with me but did not have it because of our kid(????). She also Said that she wanted things to be exactly as before i caught them fucking. (!!??)

The breakup was her accusing me for cheating,i did not cheat!! Later she said that i "tried to cheat" Makes no sense to me at all...

After this i blocked her on social media,no contact IF its not about our kid. I talked to preeschool and arranged leaving and fetching the kid at preschool. No more Sundays leaving/fetching and coffe,dinner and maybe sleepovers.

Yesterday preeschool rang,the kid was sick so i fetched him. Sent a text to my ex saying he is sick. She has not replayed! Why? Its about her kid!
What to do with this women? Its the mother of my kid! Is there a chans for us again? What does she Think of me applying no contact? And why are she so angry so she cant reply stuff about her kid?

OP’s posts: |
JorisBonson Fri 09-Oct-20 15:47:53

🤔

Skyliner001 Fri 09-Oct-20 15:49:29

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Zoflorabore Fri 09-Oct-20 15:53:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Zoflorabore Fri 09-Oct-20 15:55:00

Ps- short story grin would hate to see the long version.

hexmeginny Fri 09-Oct-20 15:55:04

confused

BestestBrownies Fri 09-Oct-20 15:56:57

That’s a bit harsh. English clearly isn’t OP’s mother tongue. How well do you communicate in your second or third language?

OP as much as it hurts to know, you are nothing more than a convenient option to her. Time to rip off the band-aid and forget having any kind of relationship bar a co-parenting one. Set yourself free to find someone who will love and respect you. You can still be a fantastic parent even if not together with the child’s mother.

OhCaptain Fri 09-Oct-20 16:02:46

None of you utter arseholes think maybe English isn’t the poster’s first language?

I don’t know if this is real but sometimes the racism and xenophobia on here is sickening.

potter5 Fri 09-Oct-20 16:03:22

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

CheshireChat Fri 09-Oct-20 16:11:48

Doesn't sound like she played you so much as she's not interested and has terrible boundaries. Detach and focus on co-parenting your child properly rather than trying to get her to sleep with you and stop visiting her when it's your turn to have your son- regardless of what you were hoping, you're making her the default parent and by surprising she can't plan anything either.

Rockinmomma Fri 09-Oct-20 16:13:47

Let me try to get this right OP
16 months ago you separated, why was that?
14 months ago she asked to try again? You had sex but most of the time you slept naked with no intercourse (btw you don’t have to have sex just because you’re naked)
In that time you also bought gifts and went out for meals
In September you went to visit and caught her cheating
Since then you’ve only communicated about your DC and she’s ignoring your msgs about DC health

It seems to me that your relationship is done, she cheated and gave very poor excuses for it. Sounds like she just wants a meal ticket
The only thing you can do is be a good dad to your DC and try to maintain your dignity and be as amicable as you can

LonelyFromCorona Fri 09-Oct-20 16:14:35

@OhCaptain throw sexism in too, if this story was role reversed and it was a woman typing like this there would be no such comments.

OhCaptain Fri 09-Oct-20 16:15:48

LonelyFromCorona

*@OhCaptain* throw sexism in too, if this story was role reversed and it was a woman typing like this there would be no such comments.

Yeah, you’re right actually.

AfterSchoolWorry Fri 09-Oct-20 16:17:29

OhCaptain

None of you utter arseholes think maybe English isn’t the poster’s first language?

I don’t know if this is real but sometimes the racism and xenophobia on here is sickening.

agree, so rude.

MsTSwift Fri 09-Oct-20 16:23:05

They were separated though? So she’s entitled to see who she wants. Ross and Rachel all over again!

Letting yourself into her flat isn’t great. The boundaries are all wrong.

Zoflorabore Fri 09-Oct-20 16:23:23

I think English is the first language-
I can’t imagine someone saying “riding another dude” in a foreign language.

If op comes back then they may of course say different.

IndieTara Fri 09-Oct-20 16:40:32

Op I think she's just keeping you on the back burner for convenience

MrsBobDylan Fri 09-Oct-20 16:54:13

You need to concentrate on being the best parent you can be - the relationship isn't there and never will be.

You have to accept it's over and move on.

Antonov Fri 09-Oct-20 17:17:22

Concentrate on building a great relationship with your child. You will not regret for one day as you grow older. Mentally block having any emotional or physical relationship with this woman. She does not love you, only loves keeping you dangling. There is another woman out there for you who will respect you and your child too. If you are saying 'yes' to remaining emotionally tangled with this woman you are also saying no to meeting someone else.

Closetbeanmuncher Sat 10-Oct-20 01:02:39

Your ex is a skanky user, who knows what goes off in such a persons head...
Focus on your child not her.

Fortunategirl Sat 10-Oct-20 07:26:03

I’m not sure this post is real

choosername1234 Sat 10-Oct-20 07:51:29

So you have your sick child at home with you & can't contact your ex (resident parent). Is that correct?

Bolond Sat 10-Oct-20 09:19:33

choosername1234

So you have your sick child at home with you & can't contact your ex (resident parent). Is that correct?

Before we told eachother about him and espacially if he was sick,if we need help and so on. Se have him 50/50.

OP’s posts: |
Bolond Sat 10-Oct-20 09:20:38

I sms her but no reply.

OP’s posts: |
BlueThistles Sat 10-Oct-20 09:43:02

OP you are being taken for a fool. You need to accept she is using you. You should focus on your Child only now. Good Luck 🌺

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