So me and my boyfriend have been together for over 3 years and we have a 5 month old son! He is a lovely dad and a very caring person but there are a lot of things he does that really get to me
The main issue is that he is always thinking about himself! He will go on his PS4 or go out almost every day after work (working from home so barely working) and most of the time it is before my sons bedtime routine so I’m left to do it! He is there in the day working from home which I’m lucky with but I still do pretty much everything as he works!
The other day me and my son got a bad cold and my son was in hysterics all day and wouldn’t sleep I also had a really bad cold and was in a lot of pain! My boyfriend however was fine but decided it was a really good time to go out with his friends before my son was asleep so I was there dealing with a sick baby while barely being able to tend to him as I was in so much pain:(
He got home we had an argument and he flipped it on me and said he would just get on with it and be fine if I went out if he and my son were sick and I was like hmmm well we clearly aren’t the same as this really upset me! He then played the victim and said “I know I’m a useless boyfriend and can’t do anything right” he does this every time I tell him something I find upsetting! He will also belittle my feelings and make me feel like I’m being stupid for thinking that way:(
Anyways we had a civil conversation after and I told him how I felt and that I can’t stick around waiting for him to spend time with me! I have lost the spark with him as we don’t spend time together so I am left here feeling nothing just very alone! I go to therapy to try help fix us and my own issues so I’m trying very hard for us! He said he will spend more time with me so now I’m just going to wait and see!
So far he hasn’t changed one bit so I’m not very hopeful! The evening of our argument I was in our room and we had a conversation then he walked into the living room and played his games! I was exhausted and just wanted some chilled out time together but that couldn’t happen so I had an early night!
The next day he yet again went on his games for ages when I asked him multiple times before not to as I wanted to spend time with him (he agreed but didn’t keep his promise) 😑
Fed up really and I don’t want to put all of my effort into this if he isn’t going to try and change for me! Why should I be with someone who prioritises their friends over their family:( just don’t know what to do as he has so many amazing qualities as well!
Also thinking about where to go if I do leave! I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay with my dad as he has schizophrenia ( found this out the same day my boyfriend decided to go out with his friends 😩) and I know it won’t be a good environment for me and my son and my mum is moving into her first home with her boyfriend and their family and there is no room for us! I would have nowhere to go! I can’t stay here at our flat as it’s private rent and I can’t pay for everything myself I only pay for food, electric, gas, water and half of tax so technically it’s my partners place as he pays the rent!
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Do I leave? My partner is being selfish
10 replies
Hollslewis · 08/10/2020 10:10
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