DH & I have been together 10yrs, married 4, 2DCs, the newest is 4weeks.
He struggled in lockdown. Really struggled I can now see. His whole industry was furloughed, my industry came to a standstill and I'm self employed too. Fortunately we were still financially secure but my being pregnant, being upset about his not being able to support me at appts and my general worry etc saw him hiding and not sharing his issues with me. Which I feel shit about.
I love him enormously. We have 2 young children. He's an equal partner, an amazing dad. He has a "life" outside of our marriage (mates, sport etc) and I did as well before lockdown. We holiday together, we holiday separately. He have hobbies together and separately. Only I haven't been able to be me properly since Christmas and March (pregnancy and lockdown stopped various aspects)
He works in hospitality and outside of 2020 would work and get home at 4am... so day activities as a family were challenging to arrange. Evenings together were no problem.
We're in a rut. Last night he told me that he feels like we're colleagues at the moment. We're getting everything done and doing it well but there's no "us" at the moment.
I don't know how to help. He's sad. He's not hurrying home from work (despite closing at 10) because he doesn't want to. Which he told me, not out of malice or spite but being honest because he had avoided answering when I asked him previously.
I'm anxious about exposing the baby unnecessary. She's not even had her first vaccinations yet. Whereas with PFB we had everyone over, went out for lunches, went to rehearsals (performer).
My body's wobbly. I haven't danced a class in months and I'm worrying about my husband's mental health. He said he hasn't "sparked" and felt joy/happiness except when he's been playing and spending time with our older child.
Ideas?
He's sad but not clinically so. When he was many years ago his dr was worse than useless so that's not an avenue worth suggesting because she embarrassed him and he clearly wasn't fully honest.
I've got an EBF newborn and I'm not leaving her to go out and do XYZ but I need ideas
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
We're in a rut...
SpaceDinosaur · 06/10/2020 11:09
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.