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Coercive control in relationship

(12 Posts)
Ihaveanidea33 Mon 05-Oct-20 19:51:08

Hi.
I've been out of a relationship for a few months now, it was a lot of physical violence and coercive control. I have evidence of the coercion by form of texts and emails. Can I report this to the police as I know coercive control is an offence now.

OP’s posts: |
StephenBelafonte Mon 05-Oct-20 20:12:35

Yes you can report the coercive control. Did the police not do anything about the physical violence?

Ihaveanidea33 Mon 05-Oct-20 20:24:09

No I never pressed charges at the time. There's evidence of his coercion though. I have emails and texts. Will he get arrested?

OP’s posts: |
StephenBelafonte Mon 05-Oct-20 20:30:24

Depends how bad it is.

Ihaveanidea33 Mon 05-Oct-20 20:40:52

If its coercing someone into believing they had mental health issues and making them go to see a doctor?

OP’s posts: |
StephenBelafonte Mon 05-Oct-20 20:53:03

Well, what was the doctors' diagnosis?

ulanbatorismynextstop Mon 05-Oct-20 22:24:41

I think you should report it, the police take these matters seriously. My ex used coercive control but until the police locked him in a cell, then interviewed him through the night, explaining what it was and how it was illegal, he had no idea. Likely your ex doesn't. Report him, but hope for the best but expect the worst, hopefully he'll learn a lesson and not treat the next woman so badly. There might not be a conviction though.

Fortunategirl Tue 06-Oct-20 04:50:25

The relationship is over? What are you hoping to gain? Just block and get therapy to help you get over the trauma. Getting police involved just stretches out your involvement. Unless there are kids involved and you still need contact?

LaBellina Tue 06-Oct-20 04:55:31

Even if the police don't take it further, it can help a potential new victim of his in the future because it proves a pattern of abusive behavior.

Do keep in mind that if he hears that you went to the police, it might trigger him to start harassing you.

EarlyMorningRain Tue 06-Oct-20 05:58:39

Someone reported a man on my behalf for coercive control/harassment several months after I'd last had contact with him.

They called me in for an interview and I asked them not to press charges for various reasons but they took it seriously, I had a crime number and said that I should tell them if there were any further incidents. There weren't but they said that they were prepared, at the very least, to "have a chat" with him.

EarlyMorningRain Tue 06-Oct-20 06:00:05

Tbh, if it were a relationship I was no longer in, I wouldnt press charges myself. I'd just deal with making the future better for myself.

user13745865422563 Tue 06-Oct-20 06:14:30

What country are you in that "pressing charges" is a thing? Because it's not in England and Wales.

If you reported violence to the police and they failed to act - they don't need you to agree - then it doesn't sound like you have a local police force that is competent or responsible when it comes to DV. They had a duty of care to act and protect you, which they apparently failed in.

So it doesn't bode well for reporting coercive control.

You can report but it's not up to you what happens next.

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