I've done something really stupid, there's a backstory, I'll fill you in.
I've known a guy, I'll call him 'g'. For 20 years since I was 15. we always had a thing though nothing ever happened apart from kissing. We only ever saw eachother sporadically, like for 2 weeks hanging out and then not for 6 months / a year etc, and we never got together. I always thought I had feelings for him though.
When my DD was born, I hadn't spoken to g for about 3 years, but he messaged me and we started talking for a few days, nothing much at first but then it got sexual in nature, I didn't reciprocate but I didn't exactly stop him either, it's how he's always talked to me, I wasn't comfortable with it but I've never been assertive. He declared his love for me so I told him the truth that I had loved him for years but I'm in a relationship with a new baby and I was happy. That was the end of it... Except my dp read the messages, all of them. I didn't blame him for being angry with me at all and I told g what had happened, blocked him and that was that. I also deleted Facebook not long after.
I reinstated Facebook about 6 months ago, there's a lot of school stuff on there plus I was being insecure about being left out etc (needy I know).
I got a message from g about 2 weeks ago, small talk, how are you etc. I replied like "I'm alright how are you doing" etc. Nothing much. He asked about my mother (he knows her) I filled him in on that whole other issue, it was stressing me at the time he asked. He mentioned trying to kill himself 3 times and was in a bad car accident etc etc. I was sympathetic but it was very much a me me me conversation.
We ended up having a row because he started calling me out on blocking him for no reason previously and my dp is controlling (for stopping us talking) as well as some hurtful comments about me in general. I told him some home truths, he apologised, I said "ok whatever" and deleted the conversation as I was angry at him still. I had no intention of talking to him again but I was working up to deleting and blocking him as 4 people I know have killed themselves in the last 3 years and I literally couldn't take the blame for tipping him over the edge.
Dp checked my phone this morning whilst I was getting DD ready for school and saw a "?" Message from g. He's gone mental. Saying I'm a cheat, he's never trusted me and never will again, a really huge rant on whatsapp ( he's at work ). I've told him the truth about it all and apologised but he wants me to fuck off.
I know I shouldn't have replied to g but.. well I don't know. I do everything for DP, he works but is here a lot. He has depression and social anxiety so I've always looked after him. Apart from work I do everything else.. I've supported him and stuck by him through it all and he thinks this little of me that he checks my phone because I've been on it (playing lemmings usually...) When I've gone to bed early and he's come up and "caught me" ..his words. I know I'm out of order but I do feel really hurt ☹️
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Relationships
He searched my messages ...
ArthurMorgan · 05/10/2020 12:37
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