If you don't want any matches, write your profile as if you were a car Otherwise just write what you're looking for, provide a few up to date, non-filtered photos, add in an amusing anecdote or two (or maybe not) and see what happens.
Old banger seen better days, runs well when handled sympathetically. Plays up in inexperienced hands. That the sort of thing? I avoid that kind of stuff, but might do it for someone. Best of luck. Lots of twats out there, all lying about their age(and the rest)