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Should I end it all ? :((7 Posts)
Really unsure what to do, part me says grass won't be greener the other side part me thinks that I might look back my life and have wasted it could been happier, am I staying for love or comfort?? There is no abuse or cheating, I'm 26 no children or marriage been together 8 years this october, he has been off work past three months for a hand injury (physical job) he is a late sleeper much late into the night I mostly end up going to bed on my own he sleeps on the sofa has been mostly this way past year or so. We have sex about twice a month mostly me who initiates it, Im questioning it all and just feel a huge pain in my heart chest and tears fill my eyes when I think of leaving him but I don't think I'm happy? How do you know what to do? I love and trust him but keep thinking this is all it will be the rest of my life and I think about going then we cuddle and i think what the hell am I thinking this for??X please someone give me some advice X
You've been with him since you were a teen. You've now outgrown this relationship. It happens a lot. Set both you and him free to find happiness elsewhere.
OP, you’ve been with him since you were a teenager, he’s all you’ve ever known. You have no idea what life is like to be young free and single. You’re unhappy, that is clear, so don’t piss away your best years settling for less than you deserve. You’re still young, you have plenty of time to find the right person and settle down. Most of all, stop putting unrealistic expectations on a relationship formed when you were a teen. People change a great deal between their late teens and late 20s, it’s unreasonable to expect the person who was right for you at 18 to be right for you at 26.
You don’t get these years back OP, don’t waste them being unhappy.
You got to make changes OP - or rather he does. He must reboot his routine and go to bed with you at a reasonable time and get up at a reasonable time. Basically contribute to the relationship. Then, if he doesn't or won't, you have your answer.
Most teenage romances don’t last and there’s a reason for that.
People change a lot during those years
Take some time to think about what you want. What you value. 26 is no age at all. Don’t base your decision on fear that there is nothing better for you. Make it on whether where you are now is the best you can be
OP - you met as teenagers. And now, 8 years later - you are different grown up people.
Most teenage relationships don’t make it through the long long life we all live these days. Relationships in your teenage years/early 20s are trials, so to speak. You grow, learn about yourself, your likes, boundaries, etc.
So that someday, when you are ready to settle down it’s with a person that fits the grown up you.
I can’t imagine still being with someone I met as an 18yo....
Of course it’s possible, and some people make it work. However - in your case - it does seem like your relationship has ran it’s course. You are kept together by a habit and familiarity. If you were both in your retirement age - it’d be fine to live that way, because obviously one can’t expect life to be constantly exciting and sparks fly after being together for 50 years - for eg.
But the two of you are still young. And this isn’t a way to live. And I think you know you won’t last anyway.
Hard as it is - you need to start thinking and planning your life without him in it.
It can be really difficult opening up to a partner but I have found in my own experience that when I have we have chatted through the issues and decided on a plan of action.
Sit down with him and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him what your hopes and dreams in your life are. It is worth doing this since you say you love and trust him. See what his reaction is. He has become lazy in your relationship, once he realises that things may change. If he isn't able or doesn't want to change have a short break away (can you stay with family) and time alone to think on what you want to do. You are young and you have a lovely, fun life ahead of you.
Bite the bullet and sit him down and tell him how you feel. Some people will listen and take action others won't but at least you have said your piece. He may just think you like floating along as he does or perhaps he craves more but has hit a rut and similarly doesn't know what to do?