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I want out

(5 Posts)
alspoint Sun 27-Sep-20 08:06:24

I’ve been on an on and off relationship with the father of my child since high school. I got pregnant in college and he left while I was pregnant because I would not abort I tried so many times to reach him during my pregnancy I had to blackmail him to attend one of my ultrasounds with me in hopes that he would want to be a part of my pregnancy. Fast forward to the day I gave birth he I had to go through my labor alone. I gave my son my last name... a week passed by and I reached out to him just saying hi and he asks me if I had given birth. I was so hurt because he knew the due date and never once bothered to ask me anything nor did his family. Fast forward to now my son is 3 years old and we have been trying to make it work still.. he didn’t actually start dating me again till my son was about 3 months old but there was still a lot of issues even then. I found out that he had cheated on me when my son was about 1 year old and we were on good terms then but he didn’t tell me that he cheated till just last year my son being 2. He waited a whole year to tell me that and I just felt crushed because he had done that when I thought we were on good terms. Anyways getting back to the present he’s changed a lot because he told me he doesn’t wanna lose me and says he regret everything he’s done to me. He cooks for me helps me with our son. The problem is I no longer have feelings for him and I feel like I can’t truly forgive the past also I have tried dumping him many times within this year and he just threatens me that if I break up with him he will no longer see our son nor support our son financially. I could care less about the financial stuff but I wouldn’t want him to walk out on our son because my son loves him a lot. I am just so conflicted if I should stay even though I don’t love him and I think about all the past and it still hurts me. I know he has been showing me that he has changed but I just can’t let the past go. I have forgiven him but I simply can’t be with him anymore but I don’t want my son to pay the price.

OP’s posts: |
FippertyGibbett Sun 27-Sep-20 08:09:38

Sorry but I couldn’t get to the end. Just walk away. I can’t understand why you have wanted this man in your lives at all.
Resentment always sets in. Walk away and be independent.
A man should enhance your life, and be good enough to be in your child’s life.

mildlymiffed Sun 27-Sep-20 08:13:15

Know your worth. He's treated you like shit Iver the years, and I'm not surprised that you don't feel 100% towards him.

If he does leave he would have to pay you child maintenance by law, regardless of what he says.

Go with your heart. Stay with him for you if that's what you want. Dont stay with him for the wrong reasons.

CallmeAngelina Sun 27-Sep-20 09:13:46

There is no relationship worthy of the name here, and there never has been.
Walk away, please and one day find a man who will be a good role model to your son.
And contact the cms. Paying for his child is not optional for him. It's not 'pay per view.'

Nanny0gg Sun 27-Sep-20 09:20:46

He's an awful human being.

Dump him and go through CSA for maintenance. That's for your DC, not you.

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