Word of comfort

I'm sorry you're going through this @Sooz127.
My marriage ended after an affair too.
It was only 15 years, and we didn't have children, but I was on the other side of 30 and terrified at starting again.

It was hell. It felt like it would never get better. I feel like I must have driven friends mad going round in circles of heartbreak conversations.
At some point it does get better though. And after that, I found I'd never been happier when I was no longer questioning what he was really up to.

Good luck.
Be kind to yourself.
Give yourself time, and do what ever you need to so you get through each day. x

Hope you will be okay. It takes a long time, but eventually you will look back and see how much better it is without someone who makes you unhappy in your life.

I,m so sorry your going through this OP.
How long have you been requesting he ends the affair?
Has he admitted the affair?

I ask this as It sounds like he has been playing the pick me dance for a while. No doubt the decision to end this relationship has been dumped on you and engineered to make him still appear the victim.

I maybe wrong but someone who doesn,t put you first is not worth pissing on.

Sending hugs to you and your son.

It takes time. You have a lovely ds,find things to do with him and build new memories.

You will be okay. Take it an hour at a time.