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I feel we're more like flat mates

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pinkdahlia Sat 26-Sep-20 09:43:17

I've been unhappy in my marriage for a while. I feel my husband makes little or no effort with me romantically. He is great around the house and with our dc and will help me out when he can but most evenings he is falling asleep in front of the tv watching the news or some current affairs programme.

We have 3 small dc so we don't go out much anyway due to lack of babysitters. We probably get out 2/3 times a year for dinner/cinema and then the rest of the time we go out separately. In the past I've tried doing date nights at home when the kids were in bed but he goes running on Sundays so refuses to drink on Saturday nights and likes to be in bed early to get up early.

I'm not working the hours I was pre-covid but our dc are going to school and then a childminders which leaves one day a week were both my husband and I are home with no kids. I've suggested he takes a day off (he has a load of annual leave left) and we go out together but nothing ever materialises or if I say hey let's go for lunch on Wednesday can you take the day off he'll tell me he has x y and z on so can't. Btw I'm not expecting him to take a day off work every week to go out just once in a while.
Often the days the kids are in the childminders I use that day to catch up on housework and he'll often suggest we go to bed for a quickie but then afterwards it's like I've to go back now I've a meeting at 2.

Last night I cracked and told him all of this and basically he turned it back on me saying how much he does around the house and I'm lucky. Anyone got any advice please?

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