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How to communicate with Husband effectively

(15 Posts)
Amanda87 Fri 25-Sep-20 22:37:56

DH is very hurtful every time we have an argument. He says horrible stuff just to hurt me. ON PURPOSE.
Even if I keep calm, tone down and have all the patience in the world, he is very defensive and will use all the sarcasm, cynicism and rudeness he's got up his sleeves.
I say A he understands Z. I have tried everything I could but it seems like he needs to be right all the time, and I'm only a good wife when things are done his way.

Any psychologists in here? Help!

OP’s posts: |
Hawkmoth Fri 25-Sep-20 22:38:41

Just leave mate.

PickAChew Fri 25-Sep-20 22:40:52

You can't. He won't listen effectively.

Bunnymumy Fri 25-Sep-20 22:43:18

Stop trying to change YOU in order to fix him.

He is a dick who says hurtful things deliberately to the woman he us supposed to love. Why do you think that is something you should be looking to yourself to change? People respect you or they dont. He doesn't repect you, infact...it sounds like he doesnt even like you.

You are asking the wrong question. You need to ask yourself why you are tolerating this bile from a nasty piece of work.

Bunnymumy Fri 25-Sep-20 22:47:07

Also google might be worthwhile to Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Your partner sounds like one of that lot, or similar.

Bunnymumy Fri 25-Sep-20 22:47:34

*might be worthwhile to Google.

YouUnlockedTheGateAnd Fri 25-Sep-20 22:48:40

You are asking the wrong question. You need to ask yourself why you are tolerating this bile from a nasty piece of work

^this

YouUnlockedTheGateAnd Fri 25-Sep-20 22:49:52

And use the psychologist to understand why the Fuck you are putting up with this shite.

stuckinarut86 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:00:21

I understand where you're coming from. I can never get my point across with dh he always has an answer and gets defensive. Personally I no longer bother to put my point across for a second time, I say it once and say I told you so when it's turns out I was right. If he gets cross that I never made my thoughts known I point out he didn't listen and sometimes he makes a prat out of himself for not listening. Like in a diy store he was going to as a stupid question about a diy task, I said what I thought was the answer to be told I was wrong but when the person in the shop told him the same answer with a smirk he was left looking stupid, and when he told me off for not stopping him I pointed out he never listens so what's the point. Things seem to have improved after this point he does listen more some of the time anyway.

category12 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:03:38

He's not a nice man and he doesn't respect you as a human being.

It's not that you don't communicate clearly, it's that he's no interest in engaging with you in good faith. He just wants you to STFU.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:05:13

Stop wasting your time. It takes two to communicate effectively and respectfully. You're fighting a losing battle.

VickySunshine Fri 25-Sep-20 23:13:41

Sounds exhausting. I always find a well timed fart effective.

S00LA Fri 25-Sep-20 23:14:39

YouUnlockedTheGateAnd

And use the psychologist to understand why the Fuck you are putting up with this shite.

Yup.

Wearywithteens Fri 25-Sep-20 23:23:09

Girls should just be taught as soon as they start school not to put up with male bullshit. You don’t need to moderate any of your reactions to him - you don’t need to be quiet or patient or compliant. He has the problem not you. If he can’t sort himself out then get rid. He sounds like a prick.

frozendaisy Fri 25-Sep-20 23:52:51

He should want a happy wife not a good one.

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