So sad.
I have been with DH for 20 yrs. we met at uni. He was intelligent, loving & good fun. He adored me.
We have been best friends ever since. We have amazing sex. We make each other laugh. Or rather we used to. We traveled the world together. We progressed our careers. We have two beautiful boys. We finally bought a big house last year. It felt like things were finally coming together.
But, DH has a high maintenance family. He has various issues that make him quite depressed / angry / stressed sometimes. He has been quite hard to live with. He is quick to anger & drinks too much. He knows this & has been trying to change. We have always talked about everything very honestly. I asked him to have counselling. He did. He stopped drinking, did exercise & was nice again. He said he felt happy.
He has found lockdown really stressful. He has started stressing about the future of his job. He is just so easily overwhelmed. Tonight he blew up at the kids because they were being loud & a bit cheeky. Like kids do. I asked him to go for a walk & calm down. I'm so tired. He's making me anxious every day. I just want us all to be happy. But I keep having the sneaking suspicion that I'm banging my head against a brick wall here. I love him. I just don't know if we really bring out the best in each other anymore. I told him how he made me feel today & he said that breaks his heart. Then gave a very disingenuous apology & has stomped off to the spare room.
I'm just so tired. I just can't bear to break our boy's life apart. I find myself going round and round in circles with this quite often. I'm sorry this has been so long & rambling. Felt good to get it out. I haven't told anyone about this. We look like we have a wonderful life on the outside. It's so sad & exhausting. Can people really get better? Does marriage counselling help? I haven't stopped all day. I just want a peaceful happy home.
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Shit I don't know if I can do this anymore.
15 replies
ABillionNameChangesLater · 25/09/2020 22:19
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