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Please tell me your positive stories of getting back with an ex

(23 Posts)
Shimmyshimmyyay Fri 25-Sep-20 20:53:17

If you’ve ever broken up with someone and then managed to get back with them please share your stories here! What were the things your ex said or did that made you think getting back together was only wishful thinking and how did you end up rekindling things?

OP’s posts: |
Dollyrocket Fri 25-Sep-20 21:11:57

IMHO I would never go back, sorry sad

sakuramiyagi Fri 25-Sep-20 21:42:55

Dh (spoiler alert) and I were together for 3 years whilst I was at uni. He's 6 years older than me, so at the stage he was moving into a profession, I was still in my early twenties and didn't quite fancy settling down. We parted ways as we were just at different life stages at that point in time.

I always thought about him and told friends he was the one that got away and my biggest regret. He was doing the same unbeknownst to me.

6 years after we parted ways, he text asking how I was, how was my family etc. We met for coffee the next week and haven't been apart since. We got married 14 months after that text appeared and we have a little one due May 2021.

If we had an acrimonious first relationship or had there been cheating, domestic violence etc, I wouldn't have contemplated a second try.

Clara2000 Fri 25-Sep-20 21:55:58

Hasn’t happened to me personally, but I had 4 close friends marry their husbands in 2014/15. They all had one thing in common in that all 4 couples had broken up at some point and reconciled many months later. All 4 couples still happily married, 3 with children. It can work.

Appleofmyeye05 Fri 25-Sep-20 21:58:17

I think it depends on why you broke up in the first place.

BlueJag Fri 25-Sep-20 22:06:53

There are none.

widespreadpanic Fri 25-Sep-20 22:26:58

It’s possible but I think it depends on the reason that caused the breakup in the first place.

lonelySam Fri 25-Sep-20 22:31:36

A nervous breakdown and many, many weeks off work for that reason.

Sorry, no positive story here. Don't go back to your ex. If you have to ask or wonder, you shouldn't do it.

Rosecottage888 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:10:38

Success story here!

LDR for 3 years, neither one of us wanted to make the move (I had previously lived where he was) so split up for 2 years. Still had regular contact and meeting up for occasional nights away and after 2 years apart he made the move, we bought a house last year, had a baby 12 weeks ago and we couldn't be happier 😊

Good luck xx

TheWho67 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:48:35

I've tried a few times whilst I was doing OLD. I always think that you can never go back. Having said that, if you were on different pages the first time, it can work a second time. Sometimes it takes a bit of distance to make you appreciate each other.
What's going on with you OP?

category12 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:55:18

It depends why you broke up, doesn't it?

And what will be different if you get back together, if anything.

AmazingBouncingFerret Sat 26-Sep-20 07:31:42

We ended up having two beautiful children together.

We both have different spouses now though! He’s an excellent dad and he’s probably a good husband, just not for me.

Shimmyshimmyyay Sat 26-Sep-20 07:33:11

Ahh I knew there would be a few people saying it’s won’t work and it didn’t work for them - I get that but just wanted some positive stories even if it’s friends/people you know. For example William and Kate!

OP’s posts: |
Clara2000 Sat 26-Sep-20 07:52:36

OP are you thinking of getting back with someone? Or hoping you get a chance to?

isthismylifenow Sat 26-Sep-20 08:00:55

Shimmyshimmyyay

Ahh I knew there would be a few people saying it’s won’t work and it didn’t work for them - I get that but just wanted some positive stories even if it’s friends/people you know. For example William and Kate!

If you are asking for real life experiences then most are going to be more negative than positive unfortunately.

Couples always part for a reason. The reason for breaking up plays a huge part in whether things are reconcilable or not.

Elbels Sat 26-Sep-20 08:05:13

Together about a year, the timing just wasn't right. He was more into it than I was. We broke up, stayed sort of in touch, occasionally hooked up. He decided that it wasn't healthy, cut contact. I realised how important he was to me. We had a lot of soul searching conversations. Got back together, 5 years later could not be happier! He's my person and I'm his, it just took us a while to realise.

Shimmyshimmyyay Sat 26-Sep-20 08:14:20

Yes am thinking about getting back with an ex if you must know. We’ve been apart for a year and I have been on a few dates since then but can’t stop thinking about him. We split amicably and do occasionally talk, the reason for the split was that we were stuck in a rut sexually after 5 years together and didn’t do much together. I wish now we had gone to counselling. Anyway I don’t even know if he is seeing someone else now so this may very well just be wishful thinking!

OP’s posts: |
Dery Sat 26-Sep-20 08:14:39

As PP said, it depends on why you broke up. Some good friends of mine were basically too young first time round. They dated for 3 years then split up. They got back together several years later and are still going strong after decades. They have a terrific relationship.

Angrymum22 Sat 26-Sep-20 13:11:35

I think it really depends on how long and how much space/baggage you have put between each other. DH recently reconnected with his first love after several decades via social media ( they have not spoken or met up). He admitted that all the feelings rushed back but they were closely followed by all the pain.
We have had a whole lifetime together, all the ups and downs of a long term relationship, and we still have a solid relationship. Sex is still good and we are still good friends. We have a teenage child and a stable life. I was angry and hurt with him but ultimately gave him a choice. He chose the love of his life and not his first love, his words.
I think we are all curious about how things would have been if we had taken different roads. I have certainly reflected on the one that got away but have no regrets. I hope he has had a happy and successful life but I met my DH because of those choices made years ago and I wouldn’t have my beautiful child if I had taken the other road.
The reality is that you cannot relive the missing years, those belong firmly with other people.

janetmendoza Sat 26-Sep-20 13:50:49

My DH of 27 years was briefly my ex and it was absolutely the rocket up his complacent arse that he needed!
We had been together for 4 years and both aged 30, he showed no sign of a proposal so I proposed. He panicked and bloody said no! So I let him go, but was heartbroken, but also I was ready for children and wanted marriage to come first, so felt I needed to move on to someone who would commit.
Three weeks later he arrived on my doorstep with flowers and a ring, having realized he had made a big mistake! We were married 10 months later.

FlyingPandas Sat 26-Sep-20 13:53:27

I can give you four positive stories OP - myself and three friends - all of which involved an initial breakup for anything from 6m to a year and then the couple reconciling.

All four couples (we are all in our late forties now) subsequently got married, have either 2 or 3 DC and all are still happily married after more than 15 years.

So I would say it is definitely possible BUT would add that each breakup was in the first year or two of the initial relationship and at a stage of life (early to mid twenties, post university) where the couples were at the 'sharing houses with mates' stage rather than cohabiting as couples. All broke up initially because the guys were having a 'not sure if this is what I want for the rest of my life' kind of wobble rather than a long term relationship going stale or getting stuck in a rut.

It is definitely one of those things dependent on the reasons for the breakup and the specific circumstances involved.

widespreadpanic Sat 26-Sep-20 14:09:06

Anything is possible OP. It works for some and not for others.

You and your ex ended amicably so I think that’s a plus. However the sexual issues may not be resolved so that may be an issue that may come up again if you do reunite.

So reach out to your ex, you will never know until you do.

MikeUniformMike Sat 26-Sep-20 14:23:50

I know a couple who were teenage sweethearts, and after many years they split up. Got back together after a year.
They have been married for over 25 yrs.

Personally, split up from someone after a few years. Got back together after a few months. Split up a few months later.

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