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no sex for 5 months

(15 Posts)
Daisy20150 Fri 25-Sep-20 11:53:53

How do you know if its just a 'dry spell' or that's it over for ever?'

OP’s posts: |
BuffaloCauliflower Fri 25-Sep-20 11:54:54

5 months is pretty long if no obvious mitigating factors. Have you talked about it?

StarlightLady Fri 25-Sep-20 14:47:50

It is a really long time. I would struggle with 5 weeks! But l think we need more background to comment further.

Daisy20150 Fri 25-Sep-20 15:09:51

Yes, talked about it, rowed about it, not talked about it, dressed up, romantic nights/days.

OP’s posts: |
BuffaloCauliflower Fri 25-Sep-20 15:11:41

And what were the results of those conversations? Is he happy/unhappy with the amount? Are you initiating but being turned down, vice verse, no one initiating at all? Did anything happen to trigger this? What was it like in the past and how long have you been together?

Aria2015 Fri 25-Sep-20 15:17:34

We once went 3 months with now sex when our relationship was going through a rough patch. We still talked about sex though which made me feel like at least it was still on the table. In the end we just agreed to 'do it' one night because it has almost got weird to us after so long of not doing it. Doing it that one time, kick started things again as we got over the awkwardness and realised how much we'd missed each other.

You say you've talked and argued about it. What's the end result of those conversation?

Daisy20150 Fri 25-Sep-20 15:30:59

End result is talking to you guys. Pretty much, neither of us is initiating now. He says he has needs but sorts himself out...

OP’s posts: |
Daisy20150 Fri 25-Sep-20 15:32:45

been together 5 years. In the past he just seems to be all about him. But always affectionate, kisses cuddles holding hands in public and private!!?

OP’s posts: |
beachydreams Fri 25-Sep-20 15:35:34

It sounds like he’s gone off you. Sorry to be blunt. If he’s sorting himself out in preference when he knows you want it....what’s left to say! It’s not like you haven’t tried

MashedSweetSpud Fri 25-Sep-20 15:40:44

Is he on any medication?

Is he depressed?

NewYearHere20 Fri 25-Sep-20 16:08:47

Are either of you anxious or depressed - do you have children. Both could be factors here. Over the last 5/6 months I can imagine MOST normal people have had some form of worry or anxiety due to the whole Covid thing. Are either of you working from home/home schooling children.
All these things could lead to lost libido. Perhaps you're just stuck in a rut? What happens if you initiate intimacy - do you want to??

It doesn't necessarily mean the end of a relationship - but you do need to talk calmly about it and work out whats happening. A bit of understanding may just help rekindle a spark. smile

Anothernick Fri 25-Sep-20 21:11:01

If he prefers sorting himself out rather than doing it with you this is worrying. Most men like to masturbate sometimes even if they are having regular sex with their DP but to do that exclusively for a long period suggests there are problems.

It could be stress, though this would normally reduce desire for all sexual activity which does not seem to be the case here. Were there any problems with your sex live in the past? Could he feel inadequate in any way? Does he use porn? What does he say when you talk about it?

Greeneyes78 Fri 25-Sep-20 23:24:30

it will never get any better so just leave op.

Maze76 Sat 26-Sep-20 00:07:15

There’s an underlying issue that needs to be discussed.

Littered5 Sat 26-Sep-20 00:24:26

Daisy20150

End result is talking to you guys. Pretty much, neither of us is initiating now. He says he has needs but sorts himself out...

The audacity. It’s terrible but he must be telling the truth.. why though? If he cannot elaborate on this I’d literally walk out that door OP.

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