Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Relationship advise(6 Posts)
My partner changes his mood with me all the time we have 4 kids together my youngest is only 2 months old.one minute he can be caring and lovley and switch calls me names and criticize everything I do if I say something he dosnt like or i dont do what he wants he will storm out to stay with his mom for a few days .if I contact him he gets nasty and calls me selfish that he is busy now helping his family out.Am I selfish for wanting him to discuss things with me for wanting him to help me at home with the kids.He came back this evening to get some of his stuff I tried talking to him but he twists everything I say.Iv asked him if hes leaving me it feels that way, but it has happend time and time again is it me drawing up conclusions or is he treating me like a door matt.
You know the answer to your question....why are you waiting for him to make the decisions? You must be exhausted with all this carry on, add a new baby into the mix together with 3 other children, and he’s not being the partner you need now (or possibly in the future). His behaviour is appalling. Your children do not need to see his behaviour as any sort of role model, and heaven knows you don’t need to be spoken to the way you say he does. Bide you’re time OP, it won’t be easy striking out on your own, but hey it sounds as if you are largely in your own now. I wish you the best luck possible.
Would you consider doing the Freedom Programme course?
Get rid of him he's emotional abusive and you and your kids are better off going it alone.
He also sounds like he's got bipolar or something, up and down like a yo-yo. He won't change, if he wants to come back say no and have the locks changed while he's away. X
Are you selfish for wanting your kids dad to not fuck off to his mums for days every time you defend yourself?
No you're not.
Is he actually at his mums?
He’s acting like a petulant child and doubt if any type of talks with him will make a difference. I’d give him one more chance and The next time he runs to mummy tell him to stay there for good.