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Would you find this annoying?

(30 Posts)
Koalabrush Wed 23-Sep-20 19:16:50

Dh has started (as in the last twelve months or so?) to pause the tv if someone not white / disabled / gay / disabled or sometimes a woman comes on tv. And he will say tick tick tick.
So he was just watching sky sports and a black female commentator came on and he paused it and said tick tick. Just needs to be a lesbian with half a leg and full house.
I’ve asked him to stop. I really don’t like it.

OP’s posts: |
Itisbetter Wed 23-Sep-20 19:18:20

Remove the batteries and squirt him with water every time he does it.

VettiyaIruken Wed 23-Sep-20 19:20:43

It would lower my opinion of him so much I'm not sure I could stay with him.
He clearly believes that nobody who isn't white able bodied and straight gets success on their own merits.
He's a big old bigot.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 23-Sep-20 19:21:24

You haven't realised until now that your husband is a racist, sexist, everything-ist arsehole?

ShellsAndSunrises Wed 23-Sep-20 19:22:00

What an absolute prick.

Scruffymac Wed 23-Sep-20 19:23:23

Has he always been a bigot?

Kanaloa Wed 23-Sep-20 19:23:25

I wouldn’t find it annoying, I’d find it despicable. It implies that he thinks anyone who isn’t a white, able bodied, heterosexual male isn’t worthy or interesting enough to be on television other than as a ‘box ticking’ exercise.

How long have you been together? Odd that he’s just started doing this in the last year.

Freetodowhatiwant Wed 23-Sep-20 19:28:06

Seriously a deal breaker. I honestly would LTB. He is a bigot, racist, homophobic and more and he is happy with showing it. I could not be with someone like this. How can he seriously think anyone who's not a white straight, non disabled male got their job just to tick a box? Seriously, what a twat. Please come back on and tell us you're going to leave him.

DiscombobulatedAf Wed 23-Sep-20 19:36:04

He sounds like a dick. I couldn’t be with someone that did this

Roowig2020 Wed 23-Sep-20 19:36:45

Geez, I'd be re-evaluating my marriage. Sexist, racist and homophobic. Has he always been like this?

My FIL made a comment last year about hating listening to female sports (football) commentators as they didn't know what they were talking about! This was the captain of the female England team who had actually performed better than the men's team . I flipped my lid, had it out with him and walked out. He was so oblivious to his sexism and did apologise. Luckily my dh backed me up. If he hadn't I'd have lost all respect for him. Can't divorce my FIL though!

ZaphodDent Wed 23-Sep-20 19:37:15

Racist? Tick.
Homophobic? Tick.
Sexist? Tick.
Twat? Tick.

TorkTorkBam Wed 23-Sep-20 19:38:29

It is obvious. Get pausing. White man. White man. White man. White man. Where do they get all these white men?!

Koalabrush Wed 23-Sep-20 19:39:32

It’s unfortunately not as easy as just leaving someone, particularly during covid times.

I find it abhorrent really, but I wondered if I was overreacting.

It’s just been the last twelve months or so that he’s started doing this but it’s not entirely out of character.

OP’s posts: |
SummerHouse Wed 23-Sep-20 19:40:35

Zaphod is my thought twin, (or me, two minutes in my future.)

madcatladyforever Wed 23-Sep-20 19:41:33

Horrendous, I could not even talk to him any more. Does he think you are impressed by this? I think you should tell him that it makes him look and sound like a prick.

Dogladyxo Wed 23-Sep-20 19:42:05

This is the most vile thing I've ever heard sad

Kanaloa Wed 23-Sep-20 19:43:22

If this behaviour isn’t out of character it doesn’t sound like he has a very good character. It is abhorrent, and I wouldn’t want to be around him. If there were any children involved I certainly wouldn’t want them seeing this behaviour.

Koalabrush Wed 23-Sep-20 19:44:44

The first time he did it I didn’t realise what he was on about. 🙄😬
Now he does it all the time, he was particularly intense when black lives matter was in the headlines a lot. He’d pause the sports programmes and comment on it.

OP’s posts: |
Koalabrush Wed 23-Sep-20 19:48:09

He seems to feel that white straight men are now hugely disadvantaged and people only get jobs if they fit a minority group. He talks a lot about positive discrimination. He will say his friend couldn’t get a job as policemen because he is white and they only took black people on. 🙄

OP’s posts: |
flourbroach Wed 23-Sep-20 19:50:15

If his friend is anything like him, they didn't take him into the police because they realised he was a bigoted prick.

ZaphodDent Wed 23-Sep-20 19:56:08

@SummerHouse I knew you were going to say that.

I do think a lot of people have become quite radicalised over the last few years, due to things like Brexit, BLM, COVID, Trump and Climate Change. I suspect a lot of people have suddenly discovered they don't like the politics of their partner. It's a difficult one.

MarriedtoDaveGrohl Wed 23-Sep-20 20:33:11

Youve had the excellent suggestion to squirt him with water every time. My dog, when smaller, was a bit barky apparently and my dog walker took a very small water pistol out on walks, squirting here surreptitiously the second she barked. It was remarkably effective!

Obviously your DH would know he was being squirted but it could work well!

widespreadpanic Wed 23-Sep-20 20:43:31

Yuck. That would make be instantly unattracted to him.

I wonder if he’s testing/trying to provoke you.

whiskersonkittenss Wed 23-Sep-20 20:47:17

Leave the room when he does it? Or zone out on your phone. Hopefully he will stop without an audience.

India999 Wed 23-Sep-20 20:49:45

Don't be with dickheads and you won't have to hear dickhead comments.

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