Minimal contact after dtd.

(97 Posts)
user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 11:47:52

I hate myself for this but I am starting to fall for my fuck buddy. I am very fragile at the moment and tbh am always pretty needy and pathetic when it comes to guys. I have been single (and horny!) for a while now and thought I could handle casual sex in order to scratch an itch - well obviously that is bollocks!

This guy is sexy, sensitive, intelligent. We seem to have so much in common, connect on an intellectual and emotional level. However we were both clear from the start what we wanted.

Since dtd last (3rd meeting) his contact has dropped - has been 3 days now with nothing. I'm toying with the idea of just sending a very frank text along the lines of: Hey so I think I like you a lot - this is going to be a problem in relation to our fwb situation isn't it?

I just want to understand if he feels anything. If not I just want to end it and move on

Is this a terrible idea?

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user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 11:59:14

Just to add - I don't blame him for not contacting me at all! I know he hasn't done anything wrong. I just need to decide what I should do to protect myself

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SomewhereInbetween1 Wed 23-Sep-20 11:59:43

I think definitely tell him how you're really feeling, but if he doesn't feel the same you NEED to stop sleeping with him. Talking from experience I thought I could shag my fwb into forming an emotional connection, and all it did was drag out the heartache

user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:05:25

Thank you @SomewhereInbetween1!

I know that's the right thing! I'm also worried that he might say the right things just to string me along though

It's just so annoying because it was great sex. I just wish I could enjoy it for what it is. I wish I were a man!

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Chocaholic9 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:06:33

Yes you need to tell him, and either drop this FWB or have it move to an actual relationship if he's up for that.

SomewhereInbetween1 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:14:02

Ah the fateful allure of great sex! Just try to be kind to yourself ❤️

user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:26:31

You guys are so nice smile I definitely need to work on being kind to myself!

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user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:32:07

Sent! This is not going to end well sad

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Pinotgrigio33 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:37:42

Good luck. He might surprise you

Sakurami Wed 23-Sep-20 12:49:35

Well you tried it and you now know that you can't do just sex. Don't feel bad. He may be interested in taking it further but it is unlikely and 3 times is nothing. You'll get over him quickly smile

AryaStarkWolf Wed 23-Sep-20 12:56:03

I would think he's probably not that into you if he has barely contacted you since you slept together but I hope he is, good luck!

user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 12:59:09

Yeah he's read but not replied yet. I think you are right - I just really hope he does respond. It would be so painful if he just blanked me sad

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Kanaloa Wed 23-Sep-20 13:19:59

Oh no, I hope you’re okay. I would try not to bank on him replying if he was already low contact before. If he was clear he didn’t want a relationship I don’t think that will have changed.

Hopefully he gets back to you and is kind either way.

Brieminewine Wed 23-Sep-20 13:20:21

Well at least you've laid all your cards on the table, worst case scenario you’ve lost a casual sex pal, best case he could feel the same! Nothing ventured nothing won! And if it is worst case, it’s far better to cut your loses now!

aristo Wed 23-Sep-20 13:22:07


Yeah he's read but not replied yet. I think you are right - I just really hope he does respond. It would be so painful if he just blanked me sad

It's the middle of the day. Is he working? I would have sent it this evening I think.

VivaMiltonKeynes Wed 23-Sep-20 13:22:24

You've seen him 3 times and had sex once ? I wouldn't even describe you as Fuck Buddies, sorry .

user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 13:24:34

@VivaMiltonKeynes met 3 times, shagged 5 times grin

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notapizzaeater Wed 23-Sep-20 13:25:57

Sometimes it works out, one of my friends started with a FWB 18 months ago, they are now together 😍

user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 13:28:03

@aristo oh no! Well too late now sad He has seen the message but I will give it until this evening before giving up

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Rigamorph Wed 23-Sep-20 13:28:06

It's not just a girl thing, some guys can get attached after 'casual' sex too. (Although it might be less common?)

But sounds as if you have learned something important about yourself, however this turns out.
It's only a mistake if you keep on doing it smile

stealthmama Wed 23-Sep-20 13:28:10

Yeah sadly I would say he's not interested but you've nothing to lose so let's see if he replies!

valtandsinegar Wed 23-Sep-20 13:29:09

What did you say?

aristo Wed 23-Sep-20 13:30:51


*@aristo* oh no! Well too late now sad He has seen the message but I will give it until this evening before giving up

Yeah I would probably not worry until at least 8/9/10 pm xx

user1482134515 Wed 23-Sep-20 13:36:28

@valtandsinegar I think I really like you, this will be a problem in relation to our fwb set up won't it? Head in hand emoji.

God I'm pathetic!

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valtandsinegar Wed 23-Sep-20 13:43:33

Ah he's probably just thinking, you must have caught him off guard.

Best to put it out there, you will either get what you want or save yourself a lot of time smile Worst thing to do in these situations is say nothing and carry on.

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