I recently came across this phrase and had a lightbulb moment because it perfectly describes why I recently fell out with a friend.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I told her about a traumatic event in my past, purely because she is a friend. I was over the worst of it and wasnt looking for a carer or support worker but she put herself into this role.
She kept suggesting things that I should do to help with my healing, eg support groups (she wanted to come along), tried to set up meetings with contacts of hers she thought could help. Then started doing this amateur psychology on me, which was pretty damaging. I kept politely declining this "help". She was also making subtle digs at me in a jokey way.
She got in touch once lockdown eased and I couldn't face going near her so said I needed a break, which prompted an angry response from her. How could I do this after all she'd done for me...she listed a few things she'd done, tried to make me feel guilty, denied saying some really hurtful things.
I found it really hard to explain to other friends why I couldn't bear to be around her any more as it all sounds like she was just trying to help. She herself probably believes she was trying to help. She kept telling me what a good person she is and always shares the #bekind stuff.
So I think saviour complex is the thing that sums her up. She was enjoying me being a victim so she could be seen to save me. Just wondered if this strikes a chord with anyone else?
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Saviour complex - any experience?
20 replies
Imaydestroyyou · 23/09/2020 10:12
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