In the latest argument with H about his drinking and how I’m at my wits end with it all, he didn’t say he would try and cut down or stop. Even though I said how badly it has affected me. I get nervous around people drinking, and hardly enjoy a drink myself anymore. I’ve even started having actual nightmares about his drinking. I worked out he is drinking between 10-15 units every night.
In the past he has said I’ll try, I know I need to cut down. Did he not say it this time because he knows he can’t? Or that he just doesn’t want to? Or doesn’t care?
It’s been a really hard couple of years, his drinking really ground me down, but I have started to find myself again with counselling. I have made some plans re leaving. I keep flipping between ‘it’ll all be ok’ and just finding the whole situation really hard.
I can’t be bothered challenging him about his drinking because I’m worn out with the arguments about it. He has said that if I get upset it means he drinks, so I have tried to suppress my feelings, but he still drinks. We had a disagreement about something minor recently but the way he spoke to me was awful, and I cried, in the back of mind I was worried that he probably going to drink too much tonight, and he did. It’s just a nightmare. Last night, I was sat thinking how many times I have felt genuinely happy recently, and it isn’t many.
Covid is slowing everything down for getting a job so progress is slow. I just want to be happy again.
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Relationships
He didn’t say he would try and cut down
trying606 · 22/09/2020 07:11
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