This is a weird one I know. I am a regular mumsnetter and recently changed my username but this is genuine. I have only changed a couple of details about the family set up just in case it could be outing but otherwise this is what has happened.
I’m shell shocked because a week ago my BIL texted me to say he is divorcing my sister because he couldn’t take any more. The marriage has become completely toxic over the years and they have largely been living separate lives in the same house. I knew this was coming due to my sister telling me how bad things were and also my grown up nieces.
Just to give some background, they have been together for over 30 years and for at least 25 of those years they seemed happy and content. Nearly always together unless they were working and focusing on their family. I never had any clue anything could be wrong but of course that is often the case.
I replied to say I’m sorry to hear about the divorce but I think it is for the best so they can both move on and find happiness. I said try not to be bitter about it as it doesn’t help matters and to think of his mental heath. (I know he isn’t in a good place mentally).
Shortly after I sent that reply he went on to say that my sister had been bringing men back to the house and she had done it again recently and that was why he couldn’t take any more. He attached 2 video’s, I didn’t watch them but could see from the picture on each video that it was my sister with a man and one of them showed she was half dressed. I’ve deleted them and told him this and said I don’t want to be in the middle of this and want to support them both through the divorce.
I really believe that there is much more to all this than first impressions which I admit don’t look good. But how many husband’s do you know would sit in their home and video his wife while she is doing things with another man? My BIL is a burly testosterone fuelled type and I just can’t imagine he would stand for that unless it’s something they might have done before in a kind of threesome or he watches type of thing. I have heard rumours from acquaintances who have said that they thought they might be swingers. I’m wondering now if he is recording so that he has ammunition against her for the divorce, but why not just go for a no fault divorce?
I really don’t want to judge, I just feel awful about the whole thing and sick to my stomach that he would find it appropriate to send me these videos of my sister. Who else has he sent them to? I know of at least one other person.
I just don’t know what to think or how to react. I don’t know whether to tell my sister. Like I say I just feel shell shocked really.
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Relationships
Shell shocked by what BIL has texted me
Pineapplesandflamingoes · 20/09/2020 23:46
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