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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Well my husband just left

132 replies

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 22:48

Just as title says. My husband has been messaging another woman for months now. I had thought things were getting better,we were sleeping together and going on dates,he told me he had stopped the messaging but he has still been at it and told her he loves her and hates it hereme and the kids are devastated. He just packed a bag and left😢

OP posts:

Report

Onthedunes · 20/09/2020 22:59

I,m so sorry this is happening to you.
I,m sure you will get lots of support from MN.

He's a shithead.
Sending hugs

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 20/09/2020 23:01

Oh shit, that's crap, I'm sorry.

Have you got someone you can call right now? Mn is great for support but a phone call really helps. Reach out to someone if you can.

PeachForTheStars · 20/09/2020 23:03

You poor love. That's so shit of him and you deserve better. You will have lots of support on here and I know there are a few threads already for others in the same situation who give each other tons of support. Hopefully someone will be able to post some links.

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:06

Thank you . I just can't quite believe it. 20 years we've been together. My poor little boy is broken. He has asd and he says his dad has broken his head and demolished his plans. He's been pacing the house crying since he left.

OP posts:

LowLou · 20/09/2020 23:09

I'm so sorry. I'm going through a shifty break up too with a cheating husband.
How old are your kids?

custardbear · 20/09/2020 23:10

What a shitty father! I'd be inclined to tell him how hes broken his child's heart and hope he realises the grass isn't greener, same shit another person to put up with his failures as a husband and father
Good luck OP sounds like you're well shot

PickAChew · 20/09/2020 23:11

Well what a shit head he is, then. He hated being with you but not enough not to sleep with you.

Honestly - it hurts like hell but good riddance to the selfish twatwaffle.

PickAChew · 20/09/2020 23:13

And the git needs to speak to your poor ds :(

doopdeepduup · 20/09/2020 23:15

What a Twat

SengaMac · 20/09/2020 23:20

I'm so sorry this has happened.
You and your kids will get through it.

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:24

Oh I've told him his son is heart broken. He said he will always be there for the kids🙄well he's not now is he? My little boy is just turned 9 and I have a 13yr old and 15yr old. He says he hasn't felt the same for a while now but was quite happy to sleep with me! I just can't believe it. Devastated. How could he do this? I've never been alone we have been together since I was a teenager. I don't know how to do this alone. Practically what do I need to do?

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joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:26

So sorry lowlou that you are going through this as well

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BunnyLovesBananas · 20/09/2020 23:30

I'm sorry you're going through this. He's an arsehole and I know it's no consolation to hear that right now but this isn't about you, it's about him

He's a selfish arse for leaving you and hi children and more so for leading you on for the past months.

user1471565182 · 20/09/2020 23:30

I dont care what people say with 'we cant know what goes on in people's heads' and 'people make mistakes' excusing bollocks, to do what hes done to your son is just evil.

SecretWitch · 20/09/2020 23:31

I am so very sorry💐

Please contact a divorce solicitor ASAP. You don’t know how long he has been planning this move.

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:42

Thank you all so much my little boy has worn himself out and is in bed. I just don't know what to do now. I've asked my brother to help me sort benefits out as I only work very part time (10 hours a week) what else do I do?

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dublingirl66 · 20/09/2020 23:43

I'm so sorry

He is a scumbag

A low life man

You WILL make it through this believe me

Been there and life is wayyy better now xxxx

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:44

Thank you it's just so hard right now 😢

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dublingirl66 · 20/09/2020 23:44

Do nothing just yet

Give yourself time to recover from this
Take time out of work if you need to

Huge shock for you all

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:45

Thank you

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PickAChew · 20/09/2020 23:49

Practically - sort rent (if applicable) utilities, phone broadband, etc. Single adult council tax. UC/housing benefit (check entitledto, first). Any other bills like phones, etc, once you've sorted anything else. Bank accounts?

PickAChew · 20/09/2020 23:51

And CMS, before Nything else! If yiur ex isn't going to be an adult regarding parenting, he can at least pay his way!

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PickAChew · 20/09/2020 23:51

Tyops galore!

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:54

We have separate bank accounts

OP posts:

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:54

Thank you for the help I just feel sick right now

OP posts:

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