Hi, DH and I are on the verge of separating. Issues are- we work well as a team eg around the house but we are more like housemates than husband and wife, no intimacy for a long time. Communication is also poor- my husband is quiet, introverted and doesn’t naturally share thoughts/feelings. This can be infuriating and lonely. We rarely have full blown rows but have disagreements or tiffs which end in sulking behaviour (from both of us) and it will always be me who tries to discuss it and resolve it.
Over a few years I have raised my issues and suggested things eg activities from advice websites to help us connect, we have said we will have more date nights, we have even had 2 counselling sessions. Nothing changes. I feel like it’s always me bringing it up and trying to look into what we can do to make things better.
He agrees that there is something missing but doesn’t really want to separate. However, I really think I’ve had enough. He’s kind, dependable and helpful, but I need more. I need company, someone who will open up to me, someone who appreciates and admires me and vice versa, someone with a bit of drive, that extra little bit of magic etc.
I just need to be sure that separating would be the right thing. It breaks my heart that it would mean breaking up my little boy’s family, and it breaks my heart knowing that this would mean he won’t have a sibling. But I feel like I’m not me anymore. If I could make things better I would. Am I being selfish and not appreciating what I have? Am I making a big fuss over nothing and thinking the grass is greener..?
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Marriage over?
10 replies
running3 · 19/09/2020 21:22
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