My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Hobo sexual - person who has a sexual relationship with someone, just to live in their home

30 replies

ulanbatorismynextstop · 16/09/2020 09:51

Another term for cocklodger, just thought I'd share as it made me giggle. We need to stay vigilant against this increasing trend!

OP posts:
Report
TwentyViginti · 16/09/2020 09:55

Love it! Grin

Report
Supersimkin2 · 16/09/2020 09:56

It's always men, isn't it. Too many men are remarkably shameless about using ladies for money, I've noticed. In the old days women were used for sex, now it's sex and money.

Not to mention the domestic services and, oh yes, the house thrown in.

Report
Moondust001 · 16/09/2020 10:08

@Supersimkin2

It's always men, isn't it. Too many men are remarkably shameless about using ladies for money, I've noticed. In the old days women were used for sex, now it's sex and money.

Not to mention the domestic services and, oh yes, the house thrown in.

Really? It's always men? Because women have never been known to marry / move in with men for their money / security / a nice house? You must live on a different planet than the one I inhabit.
Report
JosephineDeBeauharnais · 16/09/2020 10:21

My friend got involved with a hobosexual. Within weeks of meeting him he was pressing to move in with her (she’s a never-married, childless professional person) in her very nice, large house. She said she sort of laughed it off until he started making suggestions about how he wanted her to redecorate what he had decided would be his children’s rooms - teenage children she had never met. Then she kicked him to the kerb pronto.

Report
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 16/09/2020 10:25

That's funny!

And remember ladies, no-one loves you more than a man who needs somewhere to live.

Report
Bananalanacake · 16/09/2020 10:32

If every woman were to say to new boyfriends, 'no moving in for at least 5 years as I want to take it slowly'. Would cocklodgers die out. If a genuine man is keen he would be happy to respect this.

Report
Oldraver · 16/09/2020 10:37

I dont know why I watched it as but I recently saw a programme following people on benefits

One was a woman who had kicked out her husband and within weeks had managed to bag herself someone who had only been in the country three weeks and she had bougth home the moment they met

Hobo sexual was just pouring out of him, it was cringy to watch and she actually believed he was in love with her

Report
BooFuckingHoo2 · 16/09/2020 10:40

I have an acquaintance like this. He hops from one woman to another and moves in with them almost instantly claiming the “I’ve got nowhere to go” sob story.

He claims he’s in a bad situation financially because his ex wife ran up loads of debt in his name (I’m pretty certain this was a joint effort) and he has three kids to support. He doesn’t see the kids and I’m fairly sure he doesn’t pay for them either. He also says he has really bad mental health and is struggling because of his situation when he “just wants to make a life for himself and make his kids proud” and yet this behaviour has been going on for years.

I’m afraid I have no sympathy for him anymore.

Report
Therollockingrogue · 16/09/2020 10:48

Oh God @Oldraver I watched that too .
SUCH a hobosexual he was Grin
Hobosexual Onslow. The worst type.

Report
BiBabbles · 16/09/2020 10:54

Not sure it's an increasing trend, I remember jokes/discussion about 'winter flings' back in the '90s - someone just wants a roof over their head over the winter/bad times, likely leave you in the spring/when they get a better deal.

However, back then it was more sex-neutral/focused on women who do this. I think it in the last few years there has been a lot more writing on men who do it & hobosexual seems to be written about mostly focusing on the guys who just want to use someone for as long as they can rather than back then it was more discussing the issues around housing/access to resources/how easily young people and women across ages could fall into doing this.

Report
TheQueef · 16/09/2020 10:59

I've known my fair share and cocklodger wasn't right for some (no sex) but Hobosexual is perfect!

Report
AriettyHomily · 16/09/2020 10:59

I saw your title and just came on to say so, cocklodger, with a better name :):)

Report
TinyVictories · 16/09/2020 11:40

Love it.

Report
Wherearemymarbles · 16/09/2020 12:30

A great phrase that applies equally to both men and women

Report
LilyWater · 16/09/2020 19:33

This is hilarious Grin

Report
fuandylp · 16/09/2020 20:01

Fantastic. We need to get this term into common usage.
I might go over and use it on another thread where some 60 year old bloke living in a house of multiple occupation is trying to get his feet under the table in a cottage the OP is buying by offering to do renovations in return for his meals in the evening and sex by the sounds of it.
He's a hobosexual.

Report
Closetbeanmuncher · 16/09/2020 20:09

YES!! 😂

Particularly apt if they're also of the crusty/dusty/fusty persuasion 😷

Report
BooFuckingHoo2 · 16/09/2020 21:45

Interestingly I can think of several men I know they are of this persuasion and not a single woman Confused

Report
Butterer · 16/09/2020 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ulanbatorismynextstop · 16/09/2020 21:54

To all of saying it's for men and women, you're absolutely right. Just thought I'd put it out there as an alternative to cocklodger which I see a lot on Mumsnet but which I'd never heard of before I saw it here. But yes women do this too.

OP posts:
Report
fuandylp · 16/09/2020 22:00

Hobosexual is great because it can be used for men and women. Cocklodger really does imply a man.
Can we all start using hobosexual on other threads where it is appropriate please until it catches on?

Report
Ellmau · 16/09/2020 22:00

Really? It's always men? Because women have never been known to marry / move in with men for their money / security / a nice house? You must live on a different planet than the one I inhabit.

the difference is, women who do that usually do the housework/childcare. Your classic CL does nothing towards the household other than the great gift (sarcasm) of his body.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

justasking111 · 16/09/2020 22:07

I was told by a relative twice divorced and a very keen walker that he joined tinder just to hook up with women so that he could stay in the areas where he wanted to do walks for free. I was speechless.

Report
IncandescentSilver · 16/09/2020 22:57

I used to advertise for a lodger for my spare room, and I could never understand why every time I did so, I would get one or two men who seemed relatively ok but who at the end of the viewing, would say something like "I have to move in by Friday/the weekend/end of the week because my wife/girlfriend is throwing me out".

These would be men with reasonably good jobs (or so they claimed) who could presumably easily afford more than a room to rent.

Is it really worth the hassle for them to do this? What do they actually gain from it?

Needless to say, each and every time it was a "thanks, but no thanks" from me. There are plenty more lodgers in the sea!

Report
Givemeabreak88 · 16/09/2020 23:48

It’s not always men, I knew someone who was in this situation he moved a woman lodger in (rented out a room) and then they ended up sleeping together a few months later and when it came to him asking her for the rent money she refused because they had slept together Shock

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.