Talk

Advanced search

Going to a refuge

(12 Posts)
notsohothotchoc Tue 15-Sep-20 20:35:17

Please tell me they're not that bad and that I won't be there long

OP’s posts: |
category12 Tue 15-Sep-20 20:52:38

There was a thread by someone who went into one who described her experience, it was pinned for a while. I can't quite remember what it was called, but I'll have a think if I can find it.

They're not bad places. I work for a HA which also has a couple of refuges and the support workers I know are absolutely lovely people. You'll be safe and able to work out your next steps.

Autumn1122 Tue 15-Sep-20 20:55:13

Hi, I've been in a refuge. Mine was a self contained 2 bed flat in a compound with other flats and the workers in the same building. It really wasn't awful. Obviously not ideal but I was safe and had a big kitchen, dining area, lounge, bathroom with shower and bath. 2 bedrooms. We got donations of food such as veg and bread for free. Clothes donations if you had no clothes too.

category12 Tue 15-Sep-20 20:56:13

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/936487-For-anyone-desperate-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship-but-reluctant Here it is.

Autumn1122 Tue 15-Sep-20 20:56:32

Also the compound was gated and you could only enter with a fob. Panic buttons were everywhere in the building. The workers helped. You do everything

Justcallmebebes Tue 15-Sep-20 20:57:35

My daughter went into one a couple of years ago. She was heavily pregnant with 2 toddlers. It was a self contained unit with 2 bedrooms and its own bathroom and kitchenette. Small but clean and adequate. It was secure and had staff on hand 24/7. She's now in a lovely 3 bed property with garden in a lovely area with a new boyfriend who is lovely and v v kind. She has never been happier. She had some difficult times but it was more than worth it for where she is now. Good luck x

notsohothotchoc Tue 15-Sep-20 23:41:54

I'm so upset at having to go tomorrow I'm dreading it

OP’s posts: |
PersonaNonGarter Tue 15-Sep-20 23:43:38

This is when things start to get better OP. Well done on taking this step.

LockdownLoopy Tue 15-Sep-20 23:49:18

You’re doing what’s best for you! You have a brand new chapter ahead of you, one free of unhappiness and fear. Refuges are not as bad as you’re imagining, all will be great. Well done on getting yourself out

allinadaystwerk Tue 15-Sep-20 23:58:04

A refuge is better than being scared in your own home. Focus on the safety and freedom from abuse more than your surroundings. Look forward and see the refuge a step closer to a better life. You will be fine.

category12 Wed 16-Sep-20 06:31:34

It's scary taking that step, but it's on a path to a safer happier life. It's a stepping stone. You can do this. flowers

FastAndCurious Wed 16-Sep-20 06:39:04

I promise you it won’t be that bad, you’re doing the right thing and it’s temporary.

This is the first step to a happier, safer future for you. I wish you all the luck in the world x

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in